I was at the bedside holding the hand of both my brother and my father as they died. I actually had a voice recorder in both instances and had it running, in case anything important was said that I needed to go back and review for whatever reason.
But I don’t really recall the specifics of what was said, and I didn’t go back to listen to those recordings out of some form of curiousity. I didn’t believe that there was anything particularly profound about the last words that were being spoken at the time, by either me or my dying family member, aside from of course trying to express some sort of reassurance and/or expression of love to ease any distress that was being felt.
The important words are all the ones we spoke to each other during our lives. Saying “I love you” in those last moments is nice, of course, but the important “I love yous” were the ones spoken over the years prior to that.
If you’ve got something important to say to someone, do it now. Or, if you really want to ensure that it’s only heard after you’re gone, make a recording and put it in a clearly labelled box.
I know what I am doing when I get home tonight. Thanks for the reminder.
My Dad passed away yesterday, he had dementia for 4 years.