I tried chatting on some of the recommended apps on Reddit and I can confirm that none of them work.

Which bring me to the following question: How do you find people who are interested in long-term relationships online?

Note: Please don’t suggest looking in the real life.

  • Bear@lemmynsfw.com
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    6 hours ago
    1. Be the friend you wish to have.
    2. Show people who you are.
    3. Follow up with the best of them.
  • squid_slime@lemm.ee
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    6 hours ago

    Kink dating apps seem to work well for me. Also rather than swiping on repeats and ladies that aren’t my type I block, sounds heartless but its good to have a boundary and stops mainstream dating apps from repeating the same people. personal I avoid woman who in every photo are at a club, wear brands, plastic surgery, essentially they have life styles at odds from mine. Outdoorsy, intelligent seems my type so basically don’t shy from setting boundary.

    And like most other comments have mentioned, pursue your passion, if thats video game, science fiction or sports, post about it, have discussions and genuinely seek positive interactions.

  • LenielJerron@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    I don’t know much about how to enter into a relationship online; I know people who have done it, but it’s never been something that I’ve been interested in. However, many of my strongest friendships were made online.

    The trick to making friends online is to not set out with the intention of making friends. It’s paradoxical, I know. What you should do is just find something that you’re interested in, find places online you can talk about them, and try talking about them. Personally I like math, so I met some friends on internet math chatrooms and forums. I like Star Wars, and I made some good friends through talking about Star Wars online.

    Many such places also have a casual conversation place attached. In niche communities where you (a) are already engaging with people with a common interest and (b) there’s few enough people that you will see names and faces regularly, but enough people that the conversation never dies down, eventually you’ll become a known quantity and make friends.

  • henfredemars@infosec.pub
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    2 days ago

    This isn’t so easy although it does happen. Most people aren’t meant to be in your life long-term IMHO and this typically isn’t the expectation that others will have when talking to randoms online. I met my wife on a porn site, although I wouldn’t recommend attempting to execute such a strategy for example. I recommend online activities that encourage interacting with a small group ofpeople on a consistent basis, such as a DND group, rolepaying, or perhaps writing short stories where you get the chance to know each other better while enjoying an activity that already makes you happy if you can find one.

    • Hanrahan@slrpnk.net
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      2 days ago

      I met my wife on a porn site

      You cant leave us hanging like this, should they make it into a Hallmark movie ? Performer? was she a performer or were you, both ? Or both just fellow connisuers?

      • henfredemars@infosec.pub
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        2 days ago

        Sorry! No, we’re not performers nor especially attractive. In the interest of keeping it family-friendly we have a special interest and we connected because we were both fans of the same performer who is associated with and known for that special interest content that not many people like to enjoy. We are also avid writers so we wrote stories based on that special interest, and then we ended up getting to know each other through that writing. Writing is how we expressed those feelings that we can’t share with other people who don’t understand us as easily. After about a year of hanging out virtually I took a week off work and came to visit.

  • Doxatek@mander.xyz
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    2 days ago

    You can confirm none of them work? They can work. Sometimes you have to give it time. I met my wife on tinder. The thing is it takes a while. I didn’t meet the love of my life on there after a single day or week. I was on the app for a couple years. It’s hit or miss and takes learning.

  • jeffw@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    I can confirm that apps work. Half of my relationships as an adult are from online dating.

  • jordanlund@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    My wife and I met on Craigslist of all things. I read something she wrote, popped her a note, she wrote back, one thing led to another and here we are married for 14 years now…

  • GHiLA@sh.itjust.works
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    Beats the fuck out of me. This form of social media always has that trait of disposable conversations, but then again, when you’ve been alone as long as I have you tend to be crazy enough to convince yourself that your mania is just a new normal and you didn’t need anyone to start with.

    • InquisitiveApathy@lemm.ee
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      2 days ago

      Holy crap, I didn’t realize that site still existed. I’ve since lost touch, but I actually met some cool people from around the world that I was friends with for years through that site when I was a teenager 20 years ago.

  • iAmTheTot@sh.itjust.works
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    2 days ago

    Engage in spaces and areas where there will be other people with similar interests. That may be a fan club for a hobby you love, a game with multiplayer elements, etc.

    • randomcruft@lemmy.sdf.org
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      2 days ago

      I was going to post similar but, you nailed it. OP needs to figure out what they do online and find the places where people connect doing those things.

  • TheEntity@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    Lots of my long-term friendships started with open-source projects. If that’s your kind of thing, it’s worth looking into. Either way it usually all boils down to a common hobby.

  • francisfordpoopola@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    Shared experiences help with longer term relationships. I regret I’m not focusing on the finding part but more of identifying how to hold onto it. I think the shared experiences matter more than how you find the people.

    I’ve done this specifically by playing a video game, joining a clan, and joining the discord. I focused on who I clicked with most and spent time with them. I also think making some effort to meet IRL helps after a while. Having a game or a hobby in common isn’t really enough because it can be very thin. If you don’t care about any IRL things then force other shared experiences that are tangential to what brought you together. That helps me too.

  • Kacarott@aussie.zone
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    1 day ago

    Apps can definitely work. I met my wife on Tinder, and i know two friends of mine who used Bumble specifically to find friends after moving to a new city, which worked and they now have an active friend group there.