Parents who hate parenting misses their old selfish lives. Being a (good) parent means you no longer can be selfish and your life is no longer about you.
That might seem grim, but what you get in return is a little human that looks up at you. That holds your hands because you are their world to them.
Let go of your selfish lives and learn to enjoy your new selfless life.
Yeah, you can be a good parent and still miss your old life. Also, your previous life wasn’t necessarily “selfish” - what kind of bleak, one-dimensional outlook is this?
You can love your kid, love to spend time with them, and still want to go to that one event, concert, knitting group, cookout, rave party, bike ride, marathon, whatever. Often, you can integrate your kid once they’re old enough, and at other times you’ll have to sacrifice your plans, maybe not getting together with an old friend you haven’t seen in a while. If that makes you feel a little sad and disappointed, that’s called being a human being with nuanced emotions, not being selfish.
Being a good parent is about loving your kid, trying to integrate them, spending quality time with them, all while staying healthy, emotionally balanced and hopefully teaching your kid how to achieve just that.
I never said it’s not ok to be selfish. It’s perfectly ok to care about yourself. Because that’s is the only mouth you have to feed. Once it becomes 2, you have to let go of that feeling of a fair life. It’s not fair.
It’s not guaranteed you’ll enjoy it or be good at it. That would be a huge gamble to take with my own life, but if there’s a kid involved I’m gambling with their life, too. I could never do something like that in good conscience.
There is no “Fair” when you become a parent.
Parents who hate parenting misses their old selfish lives. Being a (good) parent means you no longer can be selfish and your life is no longer about you.
That might seem grim, but what you get in return is a little human that looks up at you. That holds your hands because you are their world to them.
Let go of your selfish lives and learn to enjoy your new selfless life.
Yeah, you can be a good parent and still miss your old life. Also, your previous life wasn’t necessarily “selfish” - what kind of bleak, one-dimensional outlook is this?
You can love your kid, love to spend time with them, and still want to go to that one event, concert, knitting group, cookout, rave party, bike ride, marathon, whatever. Often, you can integrate your kid once they’re old enough, and at other times you’ll have to sacrifice your plans, maybe not getting together with an old friend you haven’t seen in a while. If that makes you feel a little sad and disappointed, that’s called being a human being with nuanced emotions, not being selfish.
Being a good parent is about loving your kid, trying to integrate them, spending quality time with them, all while staying healthy, emotionally balanced and hopefully teaching your kid how to achieve just that.
I never said it’s not ok to be selfish. It’s perfectly ok to care about yourself. Because that’s is the only mouth you have to feed. Once it becomes 2, you have to let go of that feeling of a fair life. It’s not fair.
No
Sure
Yeah, my parents let go of the selfishness of wanting three meals a day and they never forgave me for it.
Terrible parents do terrible things. If you ever become a parent, you now know what not to do.
It is not selfish to choose not to procreate.
The smugness of parents who say people who choose differently are selfish is a great example of how parenthood can make someone a worse person.
It’s not guaranteed you’ll enjoy it or be good at it. That would be a huge gamble to take with my own life, but if there’s a kid involved I’m gambling with their life, too. I could never do something like that in good conscience.
Well, not receive can do it.
Haha yes if you get a nice grateful one in the genetic lottery. Supposedly.