Can I ask, in the friendliest way possible and purely for my curiosity so I really don’t expect an answer, how you balance “higher power” with “doesn’t use it”? The way you’ve described it could be interrupted as anything from an otherwise traditional Christian who doesn’t believe in directly answered prayers, to believing that this is some sort of simulation we will wake up from.

One thing I often think about coming from a Christian upbringing is the idea that God knows everything that will ever happen to you, every choice you’ll make, when you’ll die, etc. To me, that signifies determinism and total lack of free will. That just doesn’t sit well with me.