Hi my fellow Lemmy users! It’s been a while since I used this platform and boy did I actually miss you all ❤️
It’s just that I’ve been more so focusing on myself in my career and in my own education. So I graduated back in June and man it sure does feel like a lifetime ago already. Settled in a good paying job and still trying to improve myself wherever I can.
This brings us to the question that I wanted to ask everyone here. As I’ve been very focused on academics and career stuff I never had the opportunity to date and I’ve been rejected very frequently (which is to be expected as a man tbh). I haven’t been able to lose weight and that I’m 25 years old.
I know that’s still pretty young but I still feel so behind on dating tbh. Is it still too late for me to find someone I want to be with after I’ve lost weight? Does losing weight help for men as it does for women? I’ve been trying to join meetups, volunteering (just to meet new people tbh) and really put myself out there. It’s just idk like all my friends are committed and I’m just floating around life whilst focusing on my career.
I haven’t been able to lose weight
You need to be honest with yourself here, everyone is able to lose weight (except a very small minority of people with severe mental and or health issues) and what you really mean to say is “I have not committed to losing weight”.
There is a huge difference between wanting a fit and healthy body and actually committing long term to the idea of consistently smaller portions.
And that is all it takes. You do not need to swap every meal for a shitty salad, you do not need need to run ten miles a day, you do not need to make weight loss your number one priority, you do not need the mental strength of the world’s strongest man, you do not need more time in the day or any other of the 101 excuses that overweight people use.
If you consume less calories than you burn, then you can lose weight on a diet of pizza and sitting on the couch all day.
I know what I’ve said here will come across as harsh, but it’s all absolutely true and I hope that you lose your unwanted weight, it really will help your dating prospects and it will make you feel better about yourself too!
No you’re fine, I appreciate what you’re trying to tell me and I definitely will try to follow what you’ve said. I’m curious though as how would you try to watch your diet? I have a really really bad food control cause food has been my stress reliever and how can one be consistent in having smaller portions? Like for me, I tried to really eat a smaller portion but its just that I end eating bigger portions because idk I feel depressed and I’d just be thinking of the food more than the goals I’d like to achieve if that makes sense
There’s not a one size fits all solution.
The first thing to do is cut down on snacks and sugary drinks if you have them. Refined sugars should be the easiest thing to cut out and will make a huge impact.
If you’re already doing that then it’s time to start controlling your portions. It will take some will power! I have noticed personally that I may still feel like I could eat more at the end of a meal but that if I wait ten of fifteen minutes then I feel absolutely fine. So focus on eating untill you’re not hungry rather than eating until you feel full.
Some people endorse a 5/2 diet, where they will eat normally on five days of the week and then have a very restricted diet on two days (about 300-500 calories). This will recalibrate your feeling of hunger massively, most people in the western world have never experienced real hunger. You may find that what you thought was hunger was very different to actual hunger.
I also recommend replacing your excess eating with something else. All bad habits usually need something to replace them. Whether that is drinking water or learning a new skill or reading a book or doing some exercise. Don’t just sit there and suffer, fill that time with something.