I’ve never had a Facebook account or any other social media. I know they keep shadow profiles, but I’ve never given permission. I never had any interest and frankly still don’t.

The problem I’m having is that I don’t exist online when people try to look me up. When someone tries to check me out, there’s nothing there and apparently that’s considered abnormal these days. I think it’s starting to affect my life negatively for various reasons I’d rather not get into.

I’d just like some advice about where to start if you wanted to dip your toes in and check it out. LinkedIn, maybe?

  • whatever@lemmy.world
    22·
    11 months ago

    If I don’t have social media I am either arrogant or I am hiding something? Sounds very ignorant and arrogant to me.

    The women I know are people I can talk to, discuss social media, discuss decisions regarding social media, no red flag bullshit. Maybe it’s different in different countries.

    • Lvxferre@lemmy.ml
      2·
      11 months ago

      It’s worse than “very ignorant”. It stinks malice and stupidity at the same time - because the person is rushing conclusions (aka assuming, aka making shit up) about another person, based on little to no information.

      I never saw this in real life, but if some acquaintance told me that they avoid dating people without social media presence “because it’s a red flag”, I’d look for further signs that the person is unjust and/or assumptive and consider avoiding them altogether.

    • FoundTheVegan@kbin.social
      13·
      11 months ago

      Not every gun is always loaded, but you should always treat a gun as if it’s loaded.

      You can think whatever you want about my post, unfair/arrogant idc, I’m just sharing a very common view from among the women I know and the discussions I’ve read. Not every one out there in the dating world is a creep, but I’d rather be careful since I only had a limited time to go out.

      It’s not that every single person falls in to those two camps, but social media is super duper common, so why would I risk wasting my time on someone I can’t vet?

      • whatever@lemmy.world
        5·
        11 months ago

        Please don’t put words in my mouth, I didn’t say your post was ‘unfair’. You do you, date whatever you want. But you don’t see how it could be problematic to call all people without social media accounts arrogant or liars? And then trying to establish that view as normal by citing your social media bubble-friends and ‘discussions you have read’ is just messed up.