I’m struggling to find relevant information or shared experiences on this topic and I’m hoping that someone here can point me in the right direction. I seem to have always struggled with what I’m calling tech permanence. I define tech permanence as the ability to use some form of tech (either a phone, an operating system, a library, a package manager, etc.) for an extended period of time.
My issue is then that I struggle with maintaining long-term relationships with these technical aspects of my life and it’s starting to affect my work and mental health. An example is likely the best way to describe this.
At least once a week I reinstall the operating system on my desktop computer at work because I can’t seem to commit to Linux or Windows 11. I’m not distro hopping on the Linux side of things (always Debian 12).
I’ve identified a cycle where this behavior repeats:
- Get excited by something that is only available on Linux: this can be a specific software, but more often than not it is actually the file system itself. I love everything about it.
- Work on Linux for a couple of days: in this stage I’ll painstakingly craft an environment that is needed for my work.
- ** Mental cry**: in this stage my mind will tell me that I’m just using Linux to use Linux and everything I want to do I can do on my MacBook or on Windows. I’ve seen this coupled with a bit of anxiety about not being able to use Microsoft products if requested (though I know there are a million work arounds).
- Searching for greener pastures: a stage in which I want to just use products that are more reliable, and honestly, just more pretty. This is the stage that perplexes me the most and often where the reinstall of my desktop to Windows occurs.
- Work on Windows for a couple of days: in this stage I set up my environment, do work for a couple of days, and then wonder why I don’t just use Linux.
- Repeat: I repeat this cycle 1-2 times per week.
This can be mapped to phone operating systems too. An example is that I use an iOS device on a daily basis, but sometimes I’ll go get a cheap Pixel just to throw GrapheneOS on, then to revert to Android, and then back to iOS.
I’ve tried pretty hard to search for relevant examples of this online, but I can’t seem to find the right search terms for any of this. The closest I’ve seen is “object permanence” in the ADHD research, but I’m pretty cautious to start self-diagnosing as I’m not a professional.
Can anyone comment on this or point me to a more appropriate community?
I won’t even pretend to have any insights what might be causing the psychological compulsion to constantly abandon and reacquire operating systems - but just from a technical perspective, do you need to completely reinstall the OS instead of just maintaining a multi-boot setup?
Thanks for the response. I suppose that I don’t, but ever since Windows 11, I’ve been reluctant to consider dual boots. Maybe things have changed, but at the introduction of Windows 11, I had lots of issues with dual booting.
So in short, I just haven’t tried it in a while. My main concern is that I would just continue to switch back and forth and the workflow interruption would still exist in that form.
Personally I would definitely focus on figuring out the underlying motivation for the OS hopping, but just in the interest of maybe saving some time having to re-setup everything you might consider:
- I’ve never used Windows 11 so it might have even more insidious tendencies than in the past, but generally the rule-of-thumb for multi-booting has always been to install Windows first. Other operating systems tend to be more considerate about not stepping on other installs they find and their boot loaders more flexible.
- If the budget allows you could also just use a different physical disk for each OS and either disable one in the BIOS or manually disconnect one to choose which OS to boot into.
- Maybe just running a virtual machine or live-boot would satisfy the FOMO aspect?
- Making a snapshot image of your configured install to restore from would also speed up the process of toggling between environments.
Just throwing out ideas, best of luck to you :)
These are all good recommendations and I appreciate them! I’ll keep this in mind but I’m trying to be less impulsive, so I’ll consider this over the course of a few days.
Thanks for taking the time to chime in.
The ADHD (maybe depression?) concern shouldn’t be dismissed if you have decent insurance | live in a decent country get that checked out.
Personally I maintain a dualboot environment.
Windows for multiplayer games and Microsoft office.
Kubuntu LTS for everything else.
I find debian is fantastic for server stuff, but mediocre for a desktop experience, esp related to drivers and games.
I am not a doctor and I’m not going to pretend to be one on the internet. However, it sounds like you may have some mild esoteric form of obsessive compulsive disorder or something adjacent to that. One of my friends and coworkers (in IT) had OCD and it’s no joke. He was part of a support group for it. I’m not trying to scare you or anything but you may want to talk to a therapist. If you do have something like that, it is manageable.
Focusing on the tech side: every piece of software, hardware, or tech is going to be a collection of compromises designed by a committee and implemented by a team of highly flawed humans. In constantly seeking an optimum setup you are falling into the ancient trap of “perfection is the enemy of good enough”.
Maybe gamify this and try to spend more time with your current setup. If you give in to the compulsion to change it again, try to challenge yourself to stick with the new one even longer than the previous one. And, most of all: try to relax and accept the fact that all of this tech shit is always going to be a hot mess! That’s why they patch it and update it constantly. It’s just the nature of the beast.
I appreciate the constructive response. The OCD aspect concerns me, but it seems in line with my behavior so I will investigate that further. In particular, I have access to a therapist through my work so that might be the next most logical step.
I agree that no technical environment is the end all, and I’m going to try and tap into that perspective next time this comes up.
It definitely sounds like it could fit into the ADHD / Autism spectrum.
I am diagnosed with ADHD and have a very similar compulsion, but with Linux distros. I used to keep switching between Debian Stable and Arch.
For me, the driving factor was that I wanted my computing environment (which is where I spend most of my time) to be absolutely perfect and “clean”. Quitting the distro-hopping was like quitting an addiction. I made a conscious decision to stick with Arch and deal with all problems that arise without switching back. Getting involved in community service and charitable work also helped. I simply don’t have several hours of uninterrupted free time anymore to reinstall and set everything up again.which is where I spend most of my time
I think that this is a major component of it for me as well. I’m a data scientist at an academic research institute, so my day consists of 7-9 hours of screen time. I take a lot of pride in my physical environment so it only makes sense that this transfers over to my computing environment as well.
The euphoria that one feels from quitting an addiction is how I feel in stages 4-5 where I reinstall Windows, but it only lasts until the FOMO kicks in. I’m still trying to figure it all out, but I appreciate you sharing your perspective.
Personally I just deleted Windows from everything I have. I also just picked one Linux distro since distros are basically all the same anyway, and if I need to make something work, I always try to do it within the confines of that distro first.
Shift your compulsion for tinkering from distrohopping to tinkering within a given distro. That way you create some semblance of stability. I mean, unless you’re happy with the situation you’ve described. It definitely sounds ADHD and I say that as being one myself. I enjoy hopping between interests and fixations pretty regularly, but I don’t do it with my OS because the OS is a platform for me to hop between my fixations, not a fixation in and of itself.
Thanks for that perspective. I definitely feel like operating systems are a fixation for me. I love understanding their nuances and making them do things that aren’t typical. This is the crux because an operating system in a work environment is where I need the most stability.
How does one even go about exploring an official ADHD diagnoses? Is that something done through a therapist? Another commenter suggested seeing one and I’m taking that thought seriously.
I think you should describe this to a therapist. It sounds like a lot of stress and instability added to your life. I hope you figure out how to address it
Thank you, I plan to do just that.
You might want to redirect the impulse towards three things you can reasonably control, all of which I now employ:
- Virtual machines. Virtualbox lets you set up a little Debian instance(which can be made in a lower storage/memory footprint by sticking to a 32-bit version and XFCE desktop), and it can talk to the host OS and share stuff either using the Guest Additions functions or through networked apps like SyncThing. Windows can also be accessed in this way. Your urges to have both are therefore tamed by…literally having both, and as many instances as you want. Having the config “bottled up” like this can even be more important than having the work task run quickly, because configuration really does take a huge amount of time.
- Paper notes. Use these to transcribe your work and “do the real thinking” while engaging in rote, relatively mindless copying of whatever you just did or whatever documentation you need to use. Computers give you wrong answers infinitely fast, is the mantra. Sometimes the only thing to do is to literally make a process that slows you down. The beauty of traditional materials for that is that the experience is basically similar everywhere but with countless variations. Just with the paper alone you can use fancy pocket journals, cheap subject notebooks, three-ring binders, sketchbook paper, index cards, etc. And then with the pens and pencils you can explore several broad categories(wood pencil, mechanical, lead holder, ballpoint/gel/roller, marker, fountain, dip) and get color and line style variety to mark up your notes into artworks.
- Hobby hardware/software. I have a project now where I am building some Forth libraries for 8-bit games on Agon Light, a new single-board retrocomputing device. The point here is not to have the best “productive” tech environment, but to have one that feels artistically in tune with you, and that can means putting your foot down and allowing some DIY and “slow computing” in your life. The Agon design is open, very clean, very hackable. It’s something I could sink years into in a satisfying way, and working in Forth lets me “own” that since Forths are very detail-oriented - you’re supposed to make exact designs with them. There’s no “missing out” because there’s nothing to miss out on - there’s only one way to really make it my way, and that’s to get it through my hands.
i’ve had this issue when I wasn’t using my computers for anything serious, and haven’t had any sunken cost into complex configurations
but now that im on a second year of uni, and we’re actually starting to work on serious shit, i no longer have time to ponder about greener grass, much less hopping between operating systems to reconfigure them back and forth
so, yeah. try finding something that “ties” you to your setup, and focus on that. eventually you’ll just start to ignore your os
relatedly, please actually do some research about adhd, i see this issue all the time in fellow adhd havers because changing setups gives some of us a much needed rush of dopamine
Thanks for chiming in on this. Your perspective actually feels the most accurate to what could be going on. A lot of this switching behavior comes out of times where work is slower than usual. When I’m actively engaged throughout the day this sort of thing doesn’t cross my mind. I’ll be taking your request seriously about researching ADHD.
I’ve been using Linux and Emacs since forever and they haven’t changed that much. Phones are more of a problem. Re your work related windows issue, it sounds like you need two computers. Problem solved?
