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Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: July 2nd, 2023

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  • Cast iron pizza is the shit, the only other pizza that comes close is a well made Sicilian. I like to stuff a bit of shredded cheddar between the edge of the dough and the side of the pan right before baking; makes it slightly more work to get the pizza out when it’s done but it makes a perfect cheese crisp on the crust







  • Look I’m sure you mean well but I’ve been hearing roughly the same line my entire life. “Nobody said it would be easy, the world needs you!” I’ve listened before, and all it’s gotten me is some unknowable amount of blood on my hands (complete with recurring detailed nightmares from the times I’ve watched the end results of my work) and completely discarded from society when it started affecting my mental health. The world is legitimately a worse place for the scientific endeavors I’ve been part of, and it absolutely does not need another overconfident white guy who was raised to be an oppressor and has been marinating in propaganda for the better part of 3 decades. It’s got enough of those already, strictly to the detriment of everybody living here


  • Military brat growing up in various parts of the US/foreign military bases. Like, my dad had leaves on his shoulder and I was often expected to be a showpiece at various squadron events a promotions and whatnot. Bought into all of the propaganda about American exceptionalism and how the military was full of heroes and always did the right thing. Managed to get an undergrad in physics so I could work on making sure people like my dad were more likely to come home. Got a job doing radar jamming for bombers; I was proud out of my mind and conquering the nightmares about my dad not coming home from my childhood. Did that for 5 years, and given the clearance and the nature of the work I learned a much more accurate version of what the American military does/is. Slowly realized that my entire upbringing and worldview were toxic horseshit, and let depression and PTSD rage unchecked because I was afraid of losing my clearance for seeking help. Finally couldn’t take it, quit, and went back to school. Got a masters in compsci and was working on a PhD when the PTSD started to get overwhelming and got kicked out. Probably for the better anyway, I was basically a glorified DHS intern as a phd student. I’m out of that situation now but I don’t know what to do with my life. Everything I know and all of my skills feel like poison, I don’t even believe in science anymore. Like in the sense that I don’t believe it can be used for the benefit of humanity rather than building imperial militaries or police states. I am struggling


  • Paintballs are trickier than just a water balloon. They have to be rigid/strong enough to survive the blast of co2 or compressed air that propels them, then they have to be soft enough to break on impact without harming the other player.

    They also just aren’t that messy. I worked under the table as a referee at a Paintball place when I was 13, and we played such that gameplay didn’t stop when refs were doing paint checks. We’d toss people out if they were intentionally focusing on us but I got lit up probably 10+ times a day, every weekend for 2 years. My jersey and slider pants came clean in the wash every time, and to this day the only lasting blemishes are the shredded fabric on the knees/elbows/ass from when I dove and slid a lot.


  • Man, corvids are so cool. My life goals include becoming friends with a murder of crows. I came close one time while training a pup to walk with training treats; she was super messy and dropped them all the time, and the crows started to recognize whenever we were walking and follow us to get those fallen treats. Unfortunately the pup loved to bark her head off and chase them around, and they did not like that. They even tried to drive me off once or twice by feinting diving attacks at my head


  • Fun fact; the standard model actually allows for spontaneous particle-antiparticle pair generation, so long as the pair mutually annihilate within some hbar defined time limit and conservation laws aren’t broken at a macro scale. This is the mechanism behind hawking radiation too; some of the energy given off by black holes is caused by spontaneous pair generation that happens such that one of the pair is created beyond the event horizon and the other member is created before the event horizon, causing one to be trapped and the other to be jettisoned into space.

    I know that doesn’t really relate to your comment about containing antimatter but I counter with the following: I’m profoundly autistic and the standard model has been a special interest of mine before. I couldn’t resist the chance to infodump a bit






  • Anecdotally I am both of those. I grew up in a deep south military family, and I used to have a sidearm that I assigned way more of my identity to than I should have and thought about using on myself more than i ever thought about using in any other way. I didn’t try therapy for the first time until my 30s, after I quit working for the airforce. Telling a man he needed therapy where I used to work was an insult no matter the context, and it was an open secret that you’d get fired if you sought any kind of mental healthcare. (not directly, but some security manager somewhere in the system would revoke your clearances and it would domino from there)

    I’m still amazed I made it through that; it feels like almost every week I’m still blown away by how much different the world can be when it isn’t just a deluge of bigotry and hatred and doomsday weapons. If you can help it, don’t ever fucking make weapons. No matter how much they offer to pay you or pretend you’re a hero. It’s not worth your will to live