Generally, I find fulfilment in doing things that are enjoyable which also have positive results. Work pays for stuff but I hate it, so it’s not fulfilling.

Some current things in my life:

Studying something I love even if it’s terrible for jobs.

Somewhat finding my groove in music making, making it feel less like pulling teeth.

Learning to drive in my stupid car that I love.

FYI the requirements differ by state/territory.

In Tasmania you do a free short course and theory test (can be done online) to get your learner license (small fee, L2 -> P1 -> P2 -> full by merging L1 and L2 to L and changing logbook requirements (I think from 100 hours).

L-platers can’t go more than 90kmh anywhere, P1 more than 100kmh, P2s can go as fast as allowed.

Of course you have to display the appropriate plates showing your level on the front and back of the car. Here it’s not required for the plates to be on the outside of the car (heard that differs in other states).

If you go the whole way without any offences you get a free 3-year full license.

Oh, should have clarified: they thought the tip jar was a glass for their beer. When I’d already asked them if they wanted a glass.

So, so many; I have spent far too long in hospitality.

A relatively benign one: At a small coffeeshop. Found a quirky little hat behind the counter - a tweed fedora thing with a rakish orange feather in it. Full of youthful high spirits and caffeine, I proceeded to lark around the shop in the hat (yes I wish I still had that much energy), much to the amusement of my coworkers. A lady walks in, interrupting us. She’d left her hat.

At a bar: A nonzero amount of customers buying a bottle of beer and then pouring it into the tip jar (edited to add: thinking it a glass for their beer). Some version of “how was I supposed to know?!”, repeatedly. I don’t know, maybe the fact it was covered in chalk pen, contained money, and was very, very ugly?

At a pub: boomer getting very angry at me because he’d asked for a spiced rum and coke and I’d offered Sailor Jerry’s (cheapest). Apparently that was a wussy drink. No, he clarified, a girly drink. He chose some other rum with coke. Yeah drink your sugar water old man.

Is it in reaction to everything getting scary? It’s such a seductive alternative to accepting that we’re fucked - just put your faith in someone who says it’s all untrue. A cartoon parent figure to comfort you as the word burns.

I can’t put into words what I think about people who even doubt climate change, let alone deny its existence. I just… if the data isn’t enough, I honestly don’t know what to say.

aeiou

That’s fascinating and terrifying. There’s a creepypasta in there for sure.

Oh, quite a big change for sure. And you’d be having the exact same thoughts on the other side if you’d taken that language job. That’d definitely be sitting in my thoughts.

That is so interesting. If you’re willing to say, I’m curious about which fields they were?

I had a similar experience with radically switching majors (zoology to engineering). I just needed to know. However, in my case I sensed the door closing and dashed back in. Would’ve liked that engineering money though…

Honestly, the fact that engineering isn’t public facing was a big plus! But it’s the tech part. I’m a zoology/maths major that switched to engineering for a bit. I thought it’d be great! I love combat robotics, and I tinker with gameboys ffs.

I actually love tech, but I also think a lot of modern tech is overkill and shouldn’t exist

This resonates. I have boundless wonder for the amazing things in the universe that we get to witness (using said tech) from the molecular level up. I don’t know why this stops at human-created things, as I do like tech too - as a layman.

It just feels like human development and expansion is a zero-sum game with nature, and my heart is with the biodiversity we are destroying. I was so excited for circuits class too.

May I ask what you ended up doing? Did you become disillusioned with the field?

Engineering. Programming. Any kind of field with good jobs or stability.

I don’t know how to articulate it properly, but I can’t care about anything that is human-focused. I tried engineering and it made me extremely uncomfortable; like my soul broke apart and got put back together in the wrong way. Doomed to be a poor af zoologist/plant biologist :(