My job…

10 year old me would be amazed

21 year old me would call me a sell out

30 year old me would nod approvingly

Current age me is getting too old for this shit

Sorry, I’d be worried about Half-Demon magical powered telepathic crazy…

inserts ID card:

Bunny ears, Jar, Pill, Heart.

Door Opens

That’s actually the one I own! It’s a blast and full of little D&D references, but you don’t have to know anything about D&D to play.

Violence is the universal form of communication.

Ever played one of the “Betrayal at _________” boardgames?

If not, you should!

You can only call it a drone if it’s from the Droné region of France.

This is just a sparkling quadcopter.

Ah, Raven…

Too bad she’s about as stable as a cow on skates.

Loved that movie as a kid! I have an anniversary edition DVD of it somewhere, because my VHS copy broke in the mid 90’s from rewinding too much

Onions, mushrooms, & mustard…

Sounds like my Philly steak order

Ohhh, no… I remember last time…

Apply directly to the buttocks!

Are you saying they should…

Let it Go

There’s no room at the ubiquitous self checkouts, and smartphones have made printed media more novelty than EDC.

Knock knock.

Who’s There?

Little old lady.

Little old lady who?

I didn’t know you could Yodel!

Wow, I’ve heard both of these with different punchlines:

• Lettuce out, it’s cold in here!

• Because it didn’t have the guts.

The old man’s name:

Inigo Montoya

Yep. Pretty fucked no matter which way you look at it…

Has anyone informed you of Sithrak the Blind Gibberer?

You’re lucky!

I once had one with a movement of 80 that could only cast Haste on herself, then forget she cast it and slam into Everything at high speed.

Dolphins are known to be assholes, and Orcas are really big dolphins. That beach dive move is like swerving to hit an animal in the grass/sidewalk on the side of the road.