i’m a turtle
I started out as a quizmaster, telling quiz for a night a week. I’d open my show with a new 45-second bit each week, built audience numbers over time.
Then I realized I’d been doing this for years, and was an incredibly prolific comic! I had enough material I could just walk out onto a stage and just lengthen out my opening bits, cause I no longer had a quiz to tell that night!
“I’m a stand-up comic.”
“Ooh! Heckle me!”
“I don’t know anything about you and don’t wanna say anything mean about you. Just enjoy the moment without getting a performer to do free work for you.”
“You’re no fun.”
“Don’t have to be on all the time, let me eat my burger.”
Jason Pargin is a goddamn hero.
Uh, I should prolly add context:
yeah but so’s lunchables. pyrrhic victory
neatly partitioned meats and cheeses appeal to me on an aesthetic level ok mfer
ham cheese. ham cracker. cheese cracker. ham and cheese cracker. ham and cheese
could even do it like a little big mac so it’s like cracker ham cheese cracker ham cheese cracker
shit there’s nobody says you can’t go like ham ham ham ham ham ham ham ham. great big ol hampuck just for me.
Asexual and sex-repulsed married lesbian here. Although I love my wife romantically very much, I don’t want to do anything to her chest.
I’ve bought a house, got married, published two books, do stand-up and host a small game show, survived two strokes, transitioned, and have a lot of friends who think I’m tolerable.
I’m a trans woman, so I just keep my head level, pretend I don’t see them, and just walk on by, lest some low-information voter think I’m a child molester and try to get me.
That said, children are absolute trash at paying attention to their destination and their environment, so when they inevitably cross my path in the dumbest possible way, I stop walking until they figure out they should go around me. That way I don’t accidentally kick the tiny knee-high humans.
I was one, once.
I’ve mostly got English and Japanese. English is pretty hard. I’m just a turtle.
英語と日本語が話せる。日本語は簡単だ。亀だけです。
I don’t have any pockets on most of my outfits, but I have a holster on my left hip that holds my phone, my book reader, my wallet, my keys, and a glasses wipe.
I read a lot. But there’s also Slay the Spire on my phone.
(Also I guess I have bluetooth conductors basically permanently attached to my head so I can have music whenever I want, and a d20 ring on one finger, a wrist watch on a wrist, a pair of glasses to match an outfit, a pendant for the same, a hair tie in my hair, and a meter for a study. This is all automatic stuff though, and I just have this while I’m in my house.)
My brain instinctively rejects that image. Not cause it isn’t accurate; it’s showing what it’s supposed to.
But really, that the shape of it is hostile and threatening and it looks vaguely biological and some creepy shit gets sent up and down my spine about it.
Just finished the first level—platforming action is super smooth, enemies and environment is well-themed, sprite art and animations are excellent. Didn’t expect this to be quite the banger!
Except not, the three games that were added were the Legend of Starfy series.
Like, the entire article is craptastic AI garbage.
What in the hot stinky AI garbage is that article?
“You mean to tell me this species’ moon is just full of monsters, and it ejaculates them onto the planet in regular intervals? And they don’t really do anything about it?”
As a trans woman, cool. Real fuckin’ cool.
My worst fears got written down by someone else.
I don’t wanna get shot.
I wanna die of old age.
your antics aren’t amusing
This thing’s so good.
Personal favorites include Campanella 2, Magic Garden, and Attactics.