I have anger issues, which I can’t control. I am considered conventionally attractive (though I don’t see it) and many people think I’m cool and want to be around me.
Like I said, though, I have anger issues where I will act quite aggressively towards people. One time, someone I knew said hi to me, so I screamed “I HEARD YOU”. I also tend to type very dryly and with periods when I’m upset (which is admittedly ~90% of the time but I can’t control that).
My friend doesn’t talk to me as much and I really don’t get why because even when I’m “aggressive”, it’s tough love and I’m trying to help them. If I didn’t love her, I wouldn’t be like that.
I’m even like this with guys I’ve dated and I love them not as brothers.
Women also piss me off more than men do, so I hang out more with them because I feel like they get me and aren’t as bitchy. (Part of the reason why I’m bi curious but never found a woman I’d date, excluding one I almost went out with).
While I do tend to praise men and ignore women, as some people say, it’s tough love since I think women should be the best versions of themselves :) [I believe this is why society is so hard on women as a whole]
But yeah, TLDR; My mood problems impact the people I care about, and I’m wondering if it’s a turn off since some people don’t want to be around me rather than loving me for me.
I have a reason for my actions, people just choose to ignore those reasons and misinterpret me.
Holy internalized misogyny, Batman!
This is truly wild and the exact opposite of what women actually need.
Who gets to define the best version of themselves? They don’t get input on that? Only you? Only men?
Coupled with your previous post on narcissism where you said this:
It’s not tough love. This is abusive language and behavior.
I understand getting frustrated with people if they’ve failed to make positive changes for themselves for a long time… but unless you’re their partner who lives with them, most of it doesn’t and shouldn’t have a direct impact on your life. Meaning it’s up to them to make choices for how they live and what they feel is comfortable. It’s up to you to be their friend and respect their choices being different than yours. If you can’t do that, you’re not actually their friend. You’re just a rude domineering person who thinks they know best for everyone else (Pro tip: you don’t, actually).
“Tough love” almost never results in people suddenly respecting your opinion. No, if anything it makes them resent your opinion.
Even if it is a partner you live with. Guess what? It’s healthier to just dump them and move on if you’re so disappointed with them than trying to bully them into the person you want them to be. Try spending less time justifying your own actions with your reasoning and try spending more time considering their actions and their reasoning with intent to focus on charitable interpretations.
Look, I’ve had anger problems myself. The worst habit I picked up from my shitty parents was resorting to hurtful and abusive language when I’ve been pushed pushed pushed into anger. Even if the things I am saying have root in valid critiques of the people and the situation the abusive language does not help anything, ever, at all! I know this from experience. What you probably need is some therapy to help you find more healthy ways to express yourself and more healthy ways to help yourself disconnect from these situations as they do not impact you personally most of the time. (I can see a perpetually late friend impacting you, but that’s small potatoes, get over it or stop being their friend: problem solved.) I promise you, therapy helps.
All you’re doing is making people hate you.