Early on in my marriage my wife would pull this crap. One day I told her that I wasn’t a mind reader and that if she didn’t want to tell me what the problem was that I was going to go about my day and enjoy it, which I did. I followed up with her about 2 hours later and asked her if she was ready to tell me and she unloaded. I told her I’d work on the things that she had bottled up and said that a marriage can only work if we both communicate. She shouldn’t be afraid to come to me with what’s bugging her. Ever since then she’s been open and honest. Really helped our marriage improve and evolve. She’s a lot more mature now.
So when my wife says that she’s “fine” I take it at face value and we both move on because she knows that if she wants to vent she can. She also knows I won’t dig it out of her and why.
See, if it were me, I’d say “Oh, ok.” And keep watching tv with her. I’d have zero sense that she’s NOT fine.
So she would be yelling internally that I don’t care enough to ask whats wrong.
In reality, I’d have zero clue she was upset. So I’d just keep going, and she’d keep being angry.
And at some point she’d have an outburst that from my perspective came out of nowhere.
This is why I don’t date. People expect you to read their minds, and I don’t. Then she gets mad that I’m unclear whats going on.
There was a girl I was living with 20 years ago that came home, slammed the door, and screamed. I asked whats wrong. She said “LIKE YOU DON’T KNOW!!!”
To this day I have no idea what that was about.
Early on in my marriage my wife would pull this crap. One day I told her that I wasn’t a mind reader and that if she didn’t want to tell me what the problem was that I was going to go about my day and enjoy it, which I did. I followed up with her about 2 hours later and asked her if she was ready to tell me and she unloaded. I told her I’d work on the things that she had bottled up and said that a marriage can only work if we both communicate. She shouldn’t be afraid to come to me with what’s bugging her. Ever since then she’s been open and honest. Really helped our marriage improve and evolve. She’s a lot more mature now.
So when my wife says that she’s “fine” I take it at face value and we both move on because she knows that if she wants to vent she can. She also knows I won’t dig it out of her and why.
yeah. its up to the person to communicate and they eventually. Until then don’t sweat it.