“How are you ever gonna keep a job if you can’t keep juice in a cup?!”
I was 9 years old
My grandmother used to say: if you expect your good deed to be reciprocated, you’re not actually doing a good deed.
She said it in dutch, so I hope it’s an decent translation.
I’ve heard this one put similarly: “If you’re looking for something in return, even your good deeds are an extension of your selfishness.”
“You don’t have to shovel rain.” - My grandfather when asked why he moved the family from Wisconsin to Oregon.
“An old Indian taught me that.” (Idk where I learned this)
“And we’re off like a turd-of-hurdles/smelly underwear.” (Underway)
“Oh, I know it!” (I agree whole-heartedly)
“(That’s) big noise.” (Nonsense)
“Slicker than dog snot!” (The bee’s knees)
When my grandmother met my now wife, who is from Alabama, my grandmother told her “well, we all have to be from somewhere”
That to me sounds like a very northern state phrase. I can absolutely hear my grandma saying that (not saying you/they are, just made me smile thinking of that)
“Better an empty house, than a bad tenant” after every loud fart.
i use a very similar one, in german we say: everything that doesn’t pay rent gets thrown out
My Pop, whenever he was asked where something was: “It’s in Annie’s room, behind the clock.” There was no Annie in our family, nor a bedroom with a clock you could put things behind.
Also my Pop whenever asked what something was: “It’s a wig-wam for a goose’s bridle.”
These may not be iconic to anyone else, but they are sure as hell iconic in family lore, and us grand-kids are making sure we pass it down as much as we can.
When they didn’t get a hug first, we’d get “What am I, chopped liver.”
All my grandparents passed when I was young and I didn’t know them well. However, my uncle quotes his father quite a bit. General advice “Never do anything you wouldn’t want to read about in the paper.” Whenever he offers you something, or is jokingly telling you why you shouldn’t do something “It will make your babies come out naked and screaming” Also my mom’s side of the family has a common last name and my grandfather stated that if we met another person that shared our last name that we could accept them as family if they were “reasonably dressed, moderately sober, and not asking for money”
From my grandma (who got it from her father):
“Of course the story is true, it just didn’t happen”
Essentially, the story is more important than the actual event.
Sound like a motto for Reddit lol
My grandfather would say “Is your daddy a glassmaker?” And when we’d inevitably say no, “Then get from in front the tv!” Meaning we were in his way, as children tend to be lol. Me and husband use this all the time with each other.
I was raised by my grandparents.
My grandfather was the cook most of the time, and he was always trying new recipies he found online: in years, I don’t think I ever saw him cook the same meal twice.
Everytime he’d taste something new, he’d enthusiastically comment “it’s different than usual!” (Rough translation from French “ça fait changment!”)
To this day, I have no idea how good or how bad he thought any of those dishes were.
My grandpa was german. In german,
jetztwhich in english would be pronounced something like “yetst”, means “now”. His whole life he would use “yet” in place of where an english-native speaker would say “now”, and i always thought that was adorable.“Tables are for glasses, not asses.”
~ My grandpa, whenever someone sat on a table.My mother’s requests for us to calm down escalated over the years: “Cool your jets” “Don’t get your underwear in a wad” “Don’t get caught in your zipper”
