• guyrocket@kbin.social
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    42
    ·
    11 months ago

    Reading this thread reminded me of my mother often ignoring what I said as a child. And one specific time when she said she didn’t want to hear about a video game I was excited about.

    Not huge injuries, there is certainly far worse that can happen. But it does shape who you are to be shut down like that. Shit parenting, as gen x is used to.

    I hope I have never done that to anyone. Just listening without criticizing is not difficult.

    • agent_flounder@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      26
      ·
      11 months ago

      Those injuries are worse than many people realize, I think. Dismissing your kid’s enthusiasm basically sucks the joy out of their life. Kids literally need recognition and validation from parents. Encouragement is a big deal. When you share exciting things and get shot down, you either stop sharing with anyone, stop being excited, or both.

      If we can’t ever be enthusiastic about anything what’s supposed to be the offset to all the misery life throws at us, periods of numb ennui? Lol

      My parents often responded to any enthusiasm with some kind of negativity. I don’t recall any shared excitement. I’m also gen x, if you couldn’t guess lol.

    • Smoogs@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      2
      ·
      11 months ago

      Yup. ’shut up’ was the parenting of the 70s.

      I think there was some sort of anxious period where people thought if they are sitting down and listening to someone they saw it as a ‘waste of time’ rather than quality time to connect with someone.

    • afraid_of_zombies@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      1
      ·
      11 months ago

      Maybe try like a sandwich. Listen to them talk, tease them about it, then listen some more. That way you are still learning and letting them share while not bored.