Whelp, I’ve got cancer. It’s the second time I’ve had it. About 9 months ago I was told the docs would treat me but I probably wouldn’t make it.
Its been a hell of a time.
It’s a blood cancer so at the moment I look normal from the outside. I’ve changed a lot though, in the sense that I’ve become more me.
I don’t give a shit about anything except for spending time with people I like. I especially don’t care about money or work.
It (death) is taking a lot longer to happen than I thought it would.
The real trip has been seeing other people’s reactions; I accepted it early on but other people have had very different reactions. Mostly I think they just don’t know how to react, or they don’t think it will actually happen, or both.
I don’t think the human mind is capable of understanding the concepts of “eternity” or “oblivion” very well.
I do believe in God but it’s still scary.
Its the everyday things that catch you off guard; the other day I was wondering when the next soccer world cup would be, then I realised I probably wouldn’t be around for it.
I think when I finally die it will be a relief from all the physical pain.
4 years ago next week marks my mom’s diagnosis and the 10 months that followed. Watching your loved ones go slowly insane and become unable to speak and move in such a short time (she was mid 50s) when they should be healthy changes you. Everything I look at, everything I think about is now looked at under a different lense. And given my age, there just aren’t a lot of people around me who have any idea what it’s like and assume it’s just handling the pain.
Whelp, I’ve got cancer. It’s the second time I’ve had it. About 9 months ago I was told the docs would treat me but I probably wouldn’t make it.
Its been a hell of a time.
It’s a blood cancer so at the moment I look normal from the outside. I’ve changed a lot though, in the sense that I’ve become more me.
I don’t give a shit about anything except for spending time with people I like. I especially don’t care about money or work.
It (death) is taking a lot longer to happen than I thought it would.
The real trip has been seeing other people’s reactions; I accepted it early on but other people have had very different reactions. Mostly I think they just don’t know how to react, or they don’t think it will actually happen, or both.
I don’t think the human mind is capable of understanding the concepts of “eternity” or “oblivion” very well.
I do believe in God but it’s still scary.
Its the everyday things that catch you off guard; the other day I was wondering when the next soccer world cup would be, then I realised I probably wouldn’t be around for it.
I think when I finally die it will be a relief from all the physical pain.
I had to watch my dad’s being and body melt over 12 months dying of Glioblastoma.
And people just don’t get that.
4 years ago next week marks my mom’s diagnosis and the 10 months that followed. Watching your loved ones go slowly insane and become unable to speak and move in such a short time (she was mid 50s) when they should be healthy changes you. Everything I look at, everything I think about is now looked at under a different lense. And given my age, there just aren’t a lot of people around me who have any idea what it’s like and assume it’s just handling the pain.
Like… no. I’m different now.
Fucking hell dude, I wish you all the best there is and to enjoy the ride to the fullest while it lasts, which I hope it does for a long time.
Thanks :)