Should have released this article yesterday, I did them at midnight.

I’m playing a lot of pinball, but that really hasn’t changed.

This is pretty big news, I would think it would be relevant in way more than just one article, time to do some updating.

Yeah, that’s the quintessential dad joke, which they spun to match the monster theme.

“Suspension of plot or conclusion” are not really “things” at all, much less defining characteristics of humor. You just don’t get it, and that’s ok! It doesn’t make you less than or anything.

Dead/dad

Edit: “good-bite” is a pun too

Oh for sure, they don’t even flash unless you have one with the emergency mode.

It’s funny because you don’t expect kids to want there to be monsters under their beds. Typically, or rather trope-ically, children ask their parents to make sure there are no monsters under their beds and at first it would appear the same is true here. However, the child and parent themselves appear ghoulish, and when it’s revealed that there is in fact a monster under the bed, ostensibly the father as it is similarly ghoulish and tells a pretty decent double-layer dad joke, the child is relieved. It’s irony! And puns. And just good Halloween vibes, which I admit aren’t inherently humorous. But I’d argue they are almost always inherently light-hearted. I give it 9/10, especially compared to a lot of the shit I see posted around here.

It’s called a flashlight, or a “torch” in more primitive parts of the world…jk UK, love you crazy kooks.

No it’s not, it hides the skip countdown, once skipping is an option, the button is there. The scrubber shows the length of the unskippable portion of the ad instead of the length of the full ad, so it’s a different kind of deception, but the button is still there when it’s usable.

Stress and anxiety often manifest physically, best-case-scenario is it’s just the metaphysical weight of their wretched deeds literally destroying their bodies.

I was being sarcastic. There’s nothing that’s not open for debate, just look at flat-earthers.

No one needs to have kids ever, the world will be fine. That’s not open for debate. Also, I deserve all the money, chocolate, and sex in the world, that’s not open for debate. I like this game!

A man says to his doctor, “I’m a tepee I’m a wigwam, I’m a tepee I’m a wigwam, I’m a tepee I’m a wigwam!”

“Relax!” says the doctor, “You’re two tents!”

Geemany, is that where the cricket got his name?

What false negative? If he can lift it then he didn’t create a stone he can’t lift. Can he make one plus one equal anything other than two?

Don’t forget the ancestral dirt, can’t sleep without that.

Actually the easiest answer is “no” because it doesn’t require cognitive dissonance.

Definitely the superior Brandy, by far.

Chubby’s kind of a weirdo anyway, I’m fine with that. “Twist Again” isn’t gonna make much sense anymore, but it’s no great loss.