Depends. If it’s something I must say to someone, I say it.

If it’s something I can’t control, running is the best way to handle it for me. Exhausting the body calms the mind.

It really depends. Setting aside taste (some guys really are unpleasant tasting, but not most of them) - if your guy runs less hot than you, a blowjob to completion means one less opportunity to do something for both of you. So it can feel like: oh getting all turned on by it, then it’s over and you are left hanging for days while he generates enough sex drive to have sex again. That was the issue with my ex, who was a once a week guy. Husband now, we are pretty equal and it’s not a big deal. If I do this one morning, after work we can still fuck.

Mostly agree with you on it being a fun thing to do though, you are right about that. It’s not a chore or a drag, just sometimes frustrating.

Cars do cost a lot. Which puts pressure on the used car market and pushes those prices up. But - in 1994 I got a used car, not great, but driveable, for 5k USD. Inflation would put that at $10,550 today. So that is not worse. The problem (at least where I am) is lack of supply even at that $10k.

(I got the $5k by taking out a student loan as I was a student and could, I didn’t have it laying around. It didn’t overextend me, was close to graduation and it was easy enough to pay off.)

I don’t know where you are or what your situation is - we couldn’t afford another car in my household, the insurance is so high here; I got an electric bike instead. Very expensive for a bike but much less than a car, a joy to ride, and insurance $20 a year.

Well, no. What happens with us is that either one of us says “want to go to X restaurant?” Far enough ahead of time that the other person hasn’t got some set idea of what they want this evening . So 90% of the time we just get “sure, thanks, yes”. And maybe 10% of the time a “no, but could we go to Y?”. Or a “No, I need to cook the chicken or it will go bad” And it’s literally never gone farther than that.

If my husband did what you are describing above I would be confused. Like if he said “we will go to $restaurant” like that I would assume he had a desperate craving for it and would say yes, as it would be uncharacteristic. But if it kept happening I would ask him WTF?

As I get older, I am angry less often, you gain perspective with time, but have never been quick to anger - it takes awhile for me to get mad, it’s not a reflex. Like you, anxiety is closer to the surface for me. I don’t think most people are usually mad, because I know a couple of them and it’s notable and unusual.

I don’t think anyone is never angry, it’s appropriate sometimes.

The news cycle feeds on outrage, and news is not an accurate representation of the world even when it’s true and accurate news, because normal life isn’t news and doesn’t get reported on much.

I value:

Interesting work, good pay, flexible hours.

Don’t care about:

Moving up a ladder, job title, other recognition or appreciation except in the sense of keeping my job.

I am scattered and more creative than organized in most ways but like the work of accounting and systems much more than “creative” careers. Generally speaking at any job I evolve into the universal backup and people come to me for help with their work, can often see solutions others can’t.

I am literally incapable of doing something I don’t understand, so sometimes slow at the start.

And if I didn’t have to work for money, could live a full and happy life without a job. It’s not something I need, but I don’t mind working either.

ETA: also, most productive and also physically strongest from about 14:00 to 19:00. Not an early bird or a night owl, an afternoon person.

Based on my experience and that of my own kids, what worked and didn’t:

Kids are all different so there is not one plan that will suit them all! In general though - K-6 should be half day of academics, half day of electives and free time, they just need to learn to read and do math comfortably, understand the idea of variables and some basic science about the physical world. Grades 7-12 should have science, literature, maths, art of some sort (kid choice - dance, music, visual art, creative writing, something that makes them think in a different way) and some learning about the world in a cultural sense - political geography, history, government styles. Some sort of physical education too - dance or sport for those able, health and gentle movement education for those who are not able, everyone should learn to maintain their bodies not just their mind, they are connected.

The kids of mine who went through the “IB” here got by far the best education of my offspring, but they were also the most naturally academic of the lot so it suited them, understand? The others would just collapse in the face of a program like that! You can’t just force everyone into the same shape.

At least he doesn’t say it out loud.

I don’t think that happens but it wouldn’t harm you. You could ask the mods of your server, though, right? It’s not a stupid question at all.

I don’t personally think splitting a small audience makes sense, but if there is some reason you don’t like the existing group, that is different. Not sure why it would be unsafe, what are your concerns?

Good food can be so indulgent and still healthy. When my kids were little I’d get a small container of raspberries at the grocery and eat them in the car to be selfish with them. Just didn’t have much for myself at that point in my life. Those honeycrisp apples are so delicious.

My mornings are indulgent because my days are busy.

No alarm to wake, husband wakes me gently.

Sex every day.

Coffee for work, often from the Cuban place up the street, and slow commute in by e-bike.

I also buy fancy cheese because I love that stuff, and have a large collection of liquors, liqueurs, and some wines, I don’t drink every day and honestly don’t drink enough to bother with anything I don’t love. Less and better is the way.

Agreed.

Not to excuse the relentless flow of money upward, but the two times we had to do (temporary) pay cuts in my career, it was 10-15% for employees, paid back eventually, and 35-50% for executives, not repaid. At two different companies. So I do know at least sometimes it’s done that way.

Sure, but it’s certainly the first thing to try. Get up when you need to, go to bed when you get sleepy. And I do think there is some “7:00” for everyone, some earliest time that can feel good, unless you have a literal sleep disorder, in which case asking the internet doesn’t seem like the best strategy.

How early? When I had to get up at 5, it just sucked no matter what. At 7? Just do it for a couple of weeks until you can be sleepy at 11pm, it will work itself out.

I can’t see well through those 3D glasses. Not headache they just don’t work right; I have a lot of trouble with binoculars as well, was profoundly nearsighted so maybe that’s a factor. It’s fine, except for the bits of action movies that seem to have been filmed for 3d and look strange in the 2d version.

I do have depth perception in real life just not through those glasses, though I haven’t tried in the last few years.

You write so well, hope you can find your way to a better time, and NOBODY is obligated to have children, full stop. No matter why they don’t want them. Not even the person who might birth the person who saves the world. Nobody. You don’t need an “acceptable” reason or to explain yourself to anyone. It’s your life.

I have restored our relationship by very obviously showing them white cheddar cheese puffs, eating one, and leaving them three of them, twice; then leaving cat food once. They are nice now. (Meaning of they are in my yard I can go to the mailbox and they just chill). When I see them I do bring them something but am not home much lately.

But really, if you are gonna cuss me out, what do you expect?

Last week I was out in front and heard an exchange so nice - one yells “caw caw” then the other “cawcawcawcaw” over and over until finally MR. Caw Caw says “caw caw, cawcawcawcaw” and they both stopped. It made me laugh.

Yeah I have a “sad” list for when I need to cry. These and Sweet Old World by Lucinda Williams and Road by Nick Drake, because he didn’t find a road to take him home, and the stories about how he was so depressed he’d go into the studio and lay flat on the floor to record the songs.

John Prine also has that Sam Stone song, that is less poignant and more aggressively sad but so real sounding too.