Technically, you don’t know Fonzie’s temperature. And before you go and say “human temperature,” the Fonz is a fictional character, so all bets are off.

Seems like a really difficult, odd thing to gatekeep. It’s defined as “thoughts that pop into your head while you’re doing everyday things like taking a shower, driving, or just daydreaming.” It’s literally almost meaningless.

No.

Robin Williams, Norm Macdonald, and if David Attenborough ever dies, that’s pretty much all the light gone out of my life.

Duly noted. 🤭 🤫

Nobody wants to portend anymore.

Did you shower with bath salts?

“So this guy came in and I stretched his hat.”

Now at least you’ll know Liza Steadman has what it takes if you’re ever hard up for a good stretching. I like the sound of this gal.

Or on a budget, just wear it into the sauna at your local gym.

I swear someone feels the need to milk every post for a pun.

She reminds me a little of the stray I took in, who is also part pitbull, I’m pretty sure and part ??? (maybe terrier of some kind?). She is the most-affectionate dog I’ve ever encountered and so spunky for her (presumed on my part) age.

Fine. But are you sure they’re not judging me?

On the bright side, maybe this is building up to an “owner of the Segway company”-type ending?

My daughter was showing me some of the games-within-games on Minecraft servers. It’s insane what people have made. And now Fortnite has racing!?

Was that a crinkle, or did you say, “PARK!?”

“General, we need to consult all of the local meth addicts, stat.”

These bones freed me from my sleep of untold aeons.

He was literally hangry. Immediately after he curses the out-of-season tree, he goes into the temple and has his famous hissy fit, overturning tables and shit. It’s basically the ultimate Snickers commercial. Read for yourself:

12 And on the morrow, when they were come from Bethany, he was hungry:

13 And seeing a fig tree afar off having leaves, he came, if haply he might find any thing thereon: and when he came to it, he found nothing but leaves; for the time of figs was not yet.

14 And Jesus answered and said unto it, No man eat fruit of thee hereafter for ever. And his disciples heard it.

15 And they come to Jerusalem: and Jesus went into the temple, and began to cast out them that sold and bought in the temple, and overthrew the tables of the moneychangers, and the seats of them that sold doves;

So basically you can see your bald spot better. I’m unimpressed.