• Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world
    271·
    4 days ago

    See, if it were me, I’d say “Oh, ok.” And keep watching tv with her. I’d have zero sense that she’s NOT fine.

    So she would be yelling internally that I don’t care enough to ask whats wrong.

    In reality, I’d have zero clue she was upset. So I’d just keep going, and she’d keep being angry.

    And at some point she’d have an outburst that from my perspective came out of nowhere.

    This is why I don’t date. People expect you to read their minds, and I don’t. Then she gets mad that I’m unclear whats going on.

    There was a girl I was living with 20 years ago that came home, slammed the door, and screamed. I asked whats wrong. She said “LIKE YOU DON’T KNOW!!!”

    To this day I have no idea what that was about.

    • QuarterSwede@lemmy.world
      21·
      4 days ago

      Early on in my marriage my wife would pull this crap. One day I told her that I wasn’t a mind reader and that if she didn’t want to tell me what the problem was that I was going to go about my day and enjoy it, which I did. I followed up with her about 2 hours later and asked her if she was ready to tell me and she unloaded. I told her I’d work on the things that she had bottled up and said that a marriage can only work if we both communicate. She shouldn’t be afraid to come to me with what’s bugging her. Ever since then she’s been open and honest. Really helped our marriage improve and evolve. She’s a lot more mature now.

      So when my wife says that she’s “fine” I take it at face value and we both move on because she knows that if she wants to vent she can. She also knows I won’t dig it out of her and why.

  • go $fsck yourself@lemmy.worldEnglish
    5·
    4 days ago

    It means they don’t have the energy or wherewithal to express what’s wrong. You can help by doing things that they generally enjoy to get their mind off of it.

  • lewdian69@lemmy.world
    2229·
    5 days ago

    What is happening to this community? Boomer, woman-bad, humor is running rampant. Get it off my lawn.

    • izabaddie@lemmy.world
      3316·
      4 days ago

      What is happening to this community? Boomer, woman-bad, humor is running rampant. Get it off my lawn.

      Did you ever think that the problem is YOU?

      Here’s a very plain to interpret comic depicting a man and his significant other
      and when she says that she’s fine his inner voice is so attune to her emotions
      that he knows that he shouldn’t just go about his day and take her words at face value.
      His inner voice tells him that something is actually wrong.

      So, you see this and you immediately think “woman bad humor” and without doing
      any critical thinking whatsoever you throw out the “boomer” tag as so many
      do online when they don’t get the joke or are offended.

      The issue is not the comic - it’s just your lack of critical thinking.

    • TranscendentalEmpire@lemm.ee
      416·
      4 days ago

      A lot of people on Lemmy are becoming reactionaries in response to .hexbear and .ml being so far left. Which unfortunately has attracted some bad actors from the far right who pretend to be moderate.