• doyadig@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    8
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    edit-2
    1 year ago

    For the last two months I’ve been seriously considering taking my own life. What holds me back is that I’ll severely fuck up my loving family, my mum, dad and brothers and my girlfriend/ex-girlfriend (it’s complicated). It would hurt them so much. If it wasn’t for them I would have already done it.

    So what I want to know is why shouldn’t I just end my 33 year old Swedish life right now when there’s just too much stuff to battle. Before I wanted to battle my way through this. But I can’t take this anymore. I’ve never posted something like this before. Sorry everyone. I don’t know why I did it.

    • S_204@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      8
      arrow-down
      2
      ·
      1 year ago

      I hope you have someone to talk to about this. Your life is worth living, the people who you don’t want to hurt love you and want you in their lives even if it’s complicated.

      Wishing you all the best.

    • TurianHammer@lemm.ee
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      5
      ·
      1 year ago

      I’m not qualified to answer this even though I want to help you. If you are considering suicide please don’t. Please find a helpline and talk to someone who can help you so much better than me.

    • SonarTaxLaw@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      3
      ·
      1 year ago

      I’ve been in a very dark place myself a few times. Knowing that my wife is and will always be there for me is the only thing that gave me hope for the future, even when I was at my lowest. I don’t know what you’re struggling with but I can tell you from my own experience, the darkness is not permanent.

      As other commenters have said, please take advantage of the help that’s available. Your life is valuable, you are worthwhile, and the present is not the future.

    • Smoogs@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      3
      ·
      1 year ago

      Hey thanks for posting this. I understand you are feeling the fight is too long and too big. With everything going on in the world it can feel pretty defeating. You have a lot of people around standing through it with you. Please reach out to anyone close by.

      I think the brain can go through waves of defeat and sometimes it’s the feelings we might have we just want to have a break from it. Can you workshop a bit with these feelings? Do you have a workbook maybe you can write out everything that is happening right now that you just hate and bringing up these feelings, places, people and things. You don’t have to worry about showing it to anyone. It’s purely just for you. No shame. It’s to just put it somewhere so you don’t feel like you’re abandoning it but just like file it so you can have a break from it.

      After that :write out how you feel about your family and girlfriend and the ex(and however it’s complicated) and write out how you feel about them. Maybe write out why you want to stick around for all of them.

      After that: write out as if you’re someone who isn’t you but as a witness to yourself. Like a summary or just a separate entity, maybe you from the future or past (or both) or a role model, what would you say to you to help you?

      I can see you’re doing it here already. So keep doing it. Write it all out.