Last time, I used: “Anybody need anything while I’m out?” and that went over well. May not make it through this surgery on Friday, so I turn to Lemmy for top-notch suggestions for my potential last words!

  • Margot Robbie@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    It’s pretty clear to me many people here have never either had general anesthesia or talked to anyone who had, you can’t really time funny one-liners right before you pass out.

    Here’s how it works:

    They’ll put a mask with a rubber tube in your mouth for oxygen, and tell you to relax and count back from 10, so you start counting impatiently(it’s boring, and there is nothing else to do), wondering when the surgery is going to start.

    Ten.

    Nine.

    Eight.

    Now the anesthesiologist is in front of you, checking on you to see if you’re OK. “But I haven’t finish counting down yet, when is the surgery going to start?” You ask them.

    “It’s already over”, they explain.

    Then you realize you are in a completely different room, the tube is no longer in your mouth, but you feel so weak you can hardly move, and the stitches/staples around your new surgery wound is starting to itch.

    It’s like a segment of your life was cut out and erased into nothingness.

    • Windows_Error_Noises@lemmy.worldOP
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      11 months ago

      Proper explanation, indeed - you never get all the way through the countdown before you time travel. Beforehand, though (at least in my too many to count without it sounding like a weird brag experiences), the “last words” moment is before the mask, but after the pre-anesthesia. Depends on the procedure, and probably the person, too.

    • Ada@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      11 months ago

      I’ve had nearly a dozen surgeries, and none of them have gone like that.

      Sometimes I have a mask over my face, but mostly I don’t, then they give me a little prick in my arm. I feel cold travel up my arm, whilst the person counts down from 10. When the cold gets to my shoulder, which is usually when the countdown is at about 7 or so, I go under, like someone turned off a light, but just slow enough that I can just remember an awareness of being about to go under. There’s no weakness, no feeling of being unable to move, just cold travelling up my arm, and then lights out.

      Then, I wake up, with an awareness that time has passed, though not an awareness of how long it has been.

      • Windows_Error_Noises@lemmy.worldOP
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        11 months ago

        Neat, that’s legitimately interesting! Maybe you have something unique in your physiology that gives you a different perspective? I’m pushing 6 surgeries under general, and around 5 precedures under IV, probably missing some numbers with my now shoddy memory forming capabilities, but my experiences with the knockout sedation could be described much more similarly to your experience, and a few of the IV sedations weren’t as deep, so I remember a bit more of the “in and out”, but mostly it’s just “Oh, yeah, I feel there’s a change in my coherence-BLACKOUT”, and then next awareness is recovery room beeps.

        • SheDiceToday@eslemmy.es
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          11 months ago

          It’s interesting how different people respond. I remember changing into the tunic/robe, and then nothing. I don’t even remember leaving the pre-op room, just waking up in the post-op hallway in one of about 20 beds.

      • spirinolas@lemmy.world
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        11 months ago

        This is also exactly how I remember my only time under the knife. I remember feeling that cold in my veins and “this is it, I’m passing out any moment now”. Then I don’t remember anything until I was in the recovery section even though I regained conscience in the operating block as expected. I just remember waking up with the oxygen mask covering my mouth and feeling extremely claustrophobic.

    • shuzuko@midwest.social
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      11 months ago

      The last 2 times I went under (for a complicated tooth extraction and the subsequent implant) they didn’t do the countdown, which surprised me because that was what I remembered most clearly from my lung surgery as a teen. They just asked me if I was comfortable, then said “Good, cause you’re about to get extra comfortable!” and we laughed, then I woke up. Maybe it was a dental surgeon thing? But I’ve also got a really good relationship with the dental techs and the anesthesiologist was a riot.

    • calypsopub@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

      I’ve had many surgeries and most were exactly like this. One time, though, I remember counting down too 4 and then saying, “My ears are ringing.” The anesthesiologist said, “Is this better?” I said, “Yes,” and then woke up.

    • Pyr_Pressure@lemmy.ca
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      11 months ago

      Hold your breath before the mask goes on then really quickly say “tennineeightsevensixfivefourthreetwoone”

      Breath in, and then go “bet you I’m the first to…”

      Pass out

      • aksdb@feddit.de
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        11 months ago

        I may be wrong, but I think the mask is just oxygen. What puts you under is the stuff they inject you.

    • Airazz@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

      I could feel that I was going out as I counted. It felt as if I slowly lifted an inch above the operating table and rested on a fluffy white cloud. I could feel them inserting catheter and needles but it didn’t hurt even a bit, if anything it tickled. Last sight was the grumpy face of this fridge-sized bald anesthesiologist.

      Woke up a second later in Intensive Care unit, surprisingly well rested.

      By the way, there was no tube in my mouth. They just put a mask on and it smelled sweet.

    • RebekahWSD@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

      I had no mask for my surgery. Maybe because it was removing wisdom teeth.

      My surgery was then starting liquid in my arm. I’m wheeled to the surgery room where three nurses are setting things up.

      They see I’m nervous. “Don’t worry! Doctor X is very good,” she pauses. “We do call him the velociraptor though.”

      “Why?”

      “Because he has short arms!”

      “That’s mean!” I say.

      They laugh. “You won’t remember, it’s fine.”

      “I’ll remember!” I try and say, but my mouth is full of gauze and I’m in a very different room.

      No sense of passage of time. In surgery, then in recovery. Hated that.

    • Siethron@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

      Depending on how consciousness actually works, the you before that might have died and you’re an entirely new consciousness with the same brain and memories.

      • Margot Robbie@lemmy.world
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        11 months ago

        I’ve thought about death and what it means a lot in recent months.

        As we go to sleep every night, how do we know the you who wakes up the next morning is still you?

        • Siethron@lemmy.world
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          11 months ago

          While sleeping brain activity retains a natural patern and flow, no point in worrying about that since sleep is absolutely a necessity (and I love it). Anesthesia disrupts this brain activity and interrupts your mental existence.

    • aidan@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

      Not my experience, I was put to sleep through IV and I knew when I was falling asleep. I then had a weird dream mixed with reality, and when I woke up all the text was upside down for a minute.

      • DillyDaily@lemmy.world
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        11 months ago

        Same, every time I’ve had a general aesthetic the anaesthesiologist has sat down near my arm, asked if I’m ready, and when I say “yup” he says some medical jargon to the anesthetist/resp nurse, then warns me that it’s going to feel cold and taste funny, he connects a bolus syringe to my IV bung and as he’s pushing tells me to count down from ten, and the anesthetist grabs my head gently as the anaesthesiologist moves around towards my head and presumably grabs some other instruments ready to intubate.

        My record is 7. But next time I’m going to try counting faster - not sure why but I’d always try to time it to actual seconds.

        For GA, I’ve never been given a gas mask while awake, maybe it’s to do with “rapid induction”, I’m not 100% sure what that is, only that every anaesthesiologist I’ve had has said he’s going to “rapidly induce” because my connective tissue disorder indicates the need to. I never really questioned it.

        The only time I’ve been given a mask while being told to count was when I was going under twilight sedation for a colonoscopy. as they were administering the IV, they also gave me a mask that was unexpectedly strawberry “flavoured” and I had a panic attack as I was going under because my grandma is allergic to strawberries, I’m not, but in my semi lucid state I forgot I wasn’t and started mumbling about being allergic to air.

        (I’ve only ever had male anaesthesiologists, so apppogies for only using male pronouns to describe the doctor)

    • MisterSteve@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

      This. Exactly how I ended up married!

      (Come to think of it, the honeymoon ran like that, too.) /s

    • Fiona@discuss.tchncs.de
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      11 months ago

      That’s not how it worked for me either of the two times. I don’t have any memories of going out the first time and I think I kinda woke up kinda normally both times.

    • spikederailed@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

      That’s about how it worked for me on the second surgery. Apparently my first words coming to were “holy fuck I need a cigarette”

    • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

      I was just put under a couple of weeks ago and they didn’t ask me to count down. And it also took longer than that.

  • Aviandelight @mander.xyz
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    11 months ago

    I had a very stodgy surgeon and I actually got a laugh out of him. He checked in with me pre surgery and as he was leaving said he would see me in the OR and I was like I hope I don’t see you (meaning I hoped the anesthesia worked). No one else got what I meant except for him and he had a genuine chuckle.

    • Zellith@kbin.social
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      11 months ago

      I admit. I just pictured them lying on the operating table about to be knocked out for surgery with them saying “Good luck on the surgery” to the surgeons.

      But seriously! Best of luck op!

  • Rob T Firefly@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    True story: The morning before going in for foot surgery, my mom was in a silly mood and wrote “wrong foot” on the other non-surgery-scheduled foot with a marker before putting on her socks.

    After the surgery everything was fine, and later when checking up on her the surgeon told her everyone in the operating room got a good laugh out of that “wrong foot” message.

    Mom was glad her joke worked out, but later started wondering why they were looking at the wrong foot in the first place and now wonders if her private joke to amuse herself actually saved her from having the wrong foot operated upon.

    • jasondj@ttrpg.network
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      11 months ago

      Probably so they could keep an eye on the toenails on the non-operating foot.

      There’s a reason they tell you not to wear nail polish before surgery. The nailbeds are one of the best ways to detect cyanosis caused by low oxygen levels in blood.

      I’d imagine a “control foot” is probably preferential, and it’s easier to keep an eye on the other foot during surgery than it is to keep an eye on their fingernails.

      • dingus@lemmy.world
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        11 months ago

        Meanwhile I got leg amputations where the patient paints their nails before the leg is looped off lol

    • dingus@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

      Medical staff actually DO sometimes write on the appendage that they are supposed to operate on as one of their checks.

      • Redditgee@lemmy.world
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        11 months ago

        Yeah, in my hospital pre-op, we physically hand a marker to the patient and tell them to mark where the surgery will be.

    • propofool@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

      The patient has to get exposed and positioned, then padded (so there are no pressure injuries, no errant cables or equipment pushing on skin, etc). Also under anesthesia (depending on the type but I’ll assume general/completely asleep) you aren’t moving and your body may get moved or shifted into an unnatural position.

      It’s also nice to have controls as mentioned by another reply, but pulse oximetry is great, and can be slapped on any non sterilized area to assess oxygenation.

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    11 months ago

    “Anyone need anything while I’m out” ha! That’s brilliant. I gotta remember that if I ever need it.

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    11 months ago

    I had to be in twilight, that’s where you’re basicilly out but can just barely understand what’s going on a bit. I was in and out and just absolutely baked. At one point I looked at the anesthesiologist and asked for a little more. He got concerned and asked if I could feel anything? I said “no, no I can’t. I’m just having a really good time”. I’m not sure because he was wearing a mask and all, but I think he grinned and I have zero memory from then.

  • Cosmic Cleric@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    I went with the Leslie Nielsen quote from the movie Airplane, “I just wanted to say good luck, we’re all counting on you.”

    • EmoDuck@sh.itjust.works
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      11 months ago

      Bonus points if you say it when entering the operating room, when given the anesthesia and a third time during the surgery itself

      • Cosmic Cleric@lemmy.world
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        11 months ago

        Actually when I made the joke, I got zero laughs in the operating room. I had to explain the joke, and still got no real comment/laugh.

        I finally followed it up with a Rodney Dangerfield version of “Tough room” and that got a chuckle finally.

  • BrianTheeBiscuiteer@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    You can do what my 4yo did before his last surgery: shout out “WAIT WAIT WAIT!” right before they put on your mask or give you the drip, then hold out your fist and say, “FIST BUMP!”

  • xantoxis@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    “I’m aware that consciousness still exists under general anesthesia, but the brain is no longer capable of forming memories, so have fun stabbing me with knives, I’m actually going to feel it!”

    • TheDoctorDonna@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

      I broke my ankle a few years back and the bones had to be surgically reattached, but the OR was full so they had to set and splint it in the meantime. The shot of fentanyl didn’t do anything, so they gave a cocktail that knocked me right the fuck out and set my ankle. My husband said I shot straight up like I was in the Exorcist, yelled and swore a bunch and passed out again. I remember nothing, thankfully.

      • saltesc@lemmy.world
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        11 months ago

        I’ve had that. They said I’d be awake but won’t remember anything. I’d feel it but won’t care.

        Sure enough, I’m sitting up in bed, doctors are gone, and my leg is set, I feel totally normal. I had no idea what happened except that they said that’d happen. It was the weirdest experience. I hadn’t even changed positions. Like 15 minutes just got stolen from me.

        • TheDoctorDonna@lemmy.world
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          11 months ago

          I didn’t wake until the next day, they doped me right up or the fentanyl had a delayed reaction cause I slept for a good 15 hours after I was knocked out.

          • saltesc@lemmy.world
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            11 months ago

            Ah. Mine was to set while waiting for surgery so things didn’t tighten up and be harder in the OR. I had tibia and fibula snapped and dislocated ankle. They got the joint back in place and straightened the leg, then put it in a splint to wait in.

            They practiced the movements while I was with it and it seemed very violent and physical. Then they dosed me to do the real thing and the next thing I remember was sitting there wondering wtf just happened.

            • TheDoctorDonna@lemmy.world
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              11 months ago

              Yep same, I just slept a lot longer, probably cause of the cocktail they had to give me. And waiting for the OR took a little over a day so I was grateful to be out of it the whole time.

    • atx_aquarian@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

      But hang on, there’s an interesting topic. Is consciousness the current processing, or is it the memory (and perhaps something additional)? Since not all nerve signals arrive in the brain at the same time, consciousness provably isn’t immediate. Perhaps it’s the recent memory of what just happened?

      • ridethisbike@lemmy.world
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        11 months ago

        Fuck dude… You just told everyone that we’re living in a constant state of desync and the gamer in me doesn’t know how to handle that

      • xantoxis@lemmy.world
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        11 months ago

        Separately, is it still pain if you’re not conscious of it?

        Doctors used to assert that babies didn’t feel pain, because 1) they couldn’t tell us about it, and 2) they didn’t remember it later. They would just not anesthetize babies. Of course, that endpoint of this line of reasoning is horrifying, but it’s still a fair question. When we say “pain” do we mean the firing of the nerves, or do we mean awareness of it?

        • stolid_agnostic@lemmy.ml
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          11 months ago

          Note that you’re getting into something that was a big deal in the 70s and 80s. They’d perform any surgery on babies without anesthetic (which is dangerous to babies) because it was believed that they wouldn’t remember anyway so it wasn’t a big deal after all. I suspect that people will learn about this with horror.

        • idiomaddict@feddit.de
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          11 months ago

          To be fair, dosing babies with anesthesia is way more difficult, and there’s zero record of whether they have any drug allergies or intolerances

        • Duranie@midwest.social
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          11 months ago

          To the best of my understanding this is why local and general anesthesia can be the best combo.

          General keeps you from being conscious of the damage of the knives during the surgical procedure. Local numbs the area to keep the brain from being aware that damage is happening. Reducing trauma sounds like a good idea to me.

          Pain is fascinating (particularly if you’re not the one experiencing it.) Two people experiencing the exact same nerve stimulation can be painful to one but not the other. Context, life history and experience, and expectations all play into the experience of pain. In general, your brain determines if something is painful, then you do or don’t experience that pain. People can be shot or stabbed and be completely unaware until the brain decides it’s time to let them know.

        • Sjy@lemm.ee
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          11 months ago

          Yes, pain is pain. People can still feel it and suffer even if they do not remember it. Anesthesia in context of surgery is too complex of a topic for me to comment on but I do frequently manage patients that are sedated, on ventilators either going to or coming from surgery. There are different scales and tools we use to assess if someone is under sedated or in pain. Keeping explanations simple pain can reflect as changes in vital signs, rigid or tense muscles, facial expressions. Sedation in the context I’m referring to is more a scale of either how awake someone is or what type of stimulation they respond to, for example do they open their eyes if someone says their name? Or do they open their eyes if I gently tap on their shoulder or do I need to put pressure on their nail bed for them to respond, if they respond at all. If they’re sedated enough they won’t remember the pain but they would still feel pain. Again this is NOT referring to general anesthesia during surgery, that is too complex and anesthesiologist have a very difficult job ensuring people are adequately medicated for surgery while also ensuring that they treat the side effects of the anesthesia medications so they don’t just kill people.

          The two do have some overlap and my previous statement assumes no chemical paralysis. There are also times where it is acceptable to just sedate someone, or do something emergent without sedation and then giving something like Versed which causes retrograde amnesia. The person may have been fully conscious and felt everything that just happened but still won’t remember it.

          This is a bit of an oversimplification but I’d say firing of the nerves is pain. I don’t have literature available to support but I know giving babies anesthesia is very dangerous so I would like to believe that the reasons you listed where just an over simplified “it’s really okay to do X or Y because they won’t remember it” rather than explaining to a parent in a way that they would truly understand the risk of anesthesia for a baby AND still allow whatever procedure to be done or force a parent to knowingly elect to put their baby through pain and suffering for a procedure. But again, not a doctor and I don’t work with people/babies during surgery

    • Empricorn@feddit.nl
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      11 months ago

      It’s not just the brain. From what I understand, muscles and what-not would still react to stimuli and damage if not for anesthesia.

  • null@slrpnk.net
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    11 months ago

    OP – can you please come back after the surgery and let us know that you’re okay?

  • skankhunt42@lemmy.ca
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    11 months ago

    The one and only time I was put under I said “you know what you’re doing, eh?” And he just put me out. I didn’t mean to say that, I was just nervous. I did see a nurse laugh though so that’s nice.

  • kraftpudding@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    (I know this is probably impossible, but it would be so funny)

    Tell a knock knock joke, but only the first part. Don’t reveal the punchline, just pass out. So they work extra hard to keep you alive, because only then will they hear the punchline.

  • ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.de
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    11 months ago

    Not a one-liner. You better start this one as soon as you’re rolled into the room.

    My instructor was Mr Langley and he taught me to sing a song. If you’d like to hear it, I can sing it for you.

    It’s called “Daisy”.

    Daisy, Daisy
    Give me your answer, do,
    I’m half crazy
    All for the love of you
    It won’t be a stylish marriage
    I can’t afford a carriage
    But you’ll look sweet
    Upon the seat
    Of a bicycle built for two.

    Hopefully, the anesthesiologist has seen 2001: A Space Odyssey. You’ll go down about halfway through.

    The scene (spoilers for 2001) • Cleaner copy of the song to learn the melody from
    No need to try for a computery voice, the oxygen mask will obfuscate it enough.