I’m a waitress, used to have this amazing young busser I worked with named Beni. Beni was as American as apple pie, but like apple pie, originated somewhere that French is spoken.
One breakfast shift this woman comes up to me. The place is empty, she’s the last table before we close to flip the dining room for lunch. She looks around and hands me her tab in cash, saying “I didn’t want to leave it on the table,” in just north of a whisper.
Beni walks out of our server station behind me and her eyes get just a little bit wider. I calmly turn to Beni, hand him the cash, and say, hey Beni, can you hold this for me? then turn back to the guest and explain, very slowly and patiently, that in the future it’s perfectly acceptable to leave her cash on the table if she doesn’t want change because we’re all professionals and work as a team. It would not be an exaggeration to describe her departure as “scurrying away”.
I turned back to Beni and rolled my eyes. He just shrugged. I doubt it was the first time someone has acted like that towards him.
I lived on Long Island and was in 3rd or 4th grade. I was invited to a friend’s house to play and right before I entered the door, the dad stuck his leg out and blocked me from coming in.
He bent down and looked squared in the eye and asked “Where you from, kid?”
Ummm… “Taiwan, sir”
He quickly smiled and said “alright, I did some RNR there. You good people”.
I later found out that he doesn’t let anyone from Vietnam in the house.
How many Vietnamese people have tried to enter his house?
I think the question should rather be, “How many Vietnamese people’s homes did he burn down?”
Can’t blame him. There are rules
He’s probably having flashbacks from nam.
I can’t imagine what he would have done if you were from Vietnam. You were a kid just trying to do kid stuff.
Kids should never experience this stuff.
I luckily don’t have any major incidents but a couple stick out in my memory.
First time I realized an encounter was racist was my first time at a summer camp in the US around age 12.
I went with a friend to line up for the showers in the morning and it was just us two and another kid. I barely noticed he was there cause I was caught up in conversation. Not long later some other kids walk in and the waiting kid just blurts out in relief “Thank god, I was the only white guy here!” And even in my innocent, privileged little 12 year old brain I knew that was kind of fucked up.
Also had a South African girl break up with me as a teen cause her parents literally cited my nationality as an issue… While they were living in my country…
Everywhere I go they ask me where I am from , when I tell country of my birth and whwre I was raised, they say but what is your origin? They want to hear the nationality of my parent because my skin does not look white enough, THIS IS THE SITUATION IN FRANCE, even if you are fluent in French but does not look white they will ask you whats your origin. FU K EM
If it helps any, this is a very common question in the states. Its rarely ever a malace thing, but a curiosity thing. Everyone has interest in people’s lineage (regardless of color). Even if it goes back 300 years. Maybe it has a different implication in France though.
nah but you don’t see that being asked of white people that often. and when it is it’s often framed) asked differently.
I wonder if that’s a trait with other countries of immigrants too?
My experiences are usually either secondhand or from assholes who assume I’m safe to be racist around.
My Korean partner and I were traveling and met a business associate of hers who happened to live in the area. The associate brought her fiance. The fiance managed to complain about immigrants 3 times within the first ten minutes. I felt like I couldn’t make a scene because it might impact my partner’s work life so I just did my best to make it obvious that was not a welcome topic and then freeze him out of the conversation. He didn’t pick up on it, either because he is an idiot or an asshole, probably both. This was in rural Colorado.
My partner has also gotten pulled over several times driving through Texas for being the wrong color. Instead of being able to remain in her vehicle, she was told she had to sit in the back of the police vehicle while they ran her plates or whatever excuse they had.
And there’s always the “Where are you from? No, I mean where are you from?” questions.
The fetishizing of Asians also gets pretty gross, but I’d rather leave that one to the imagination.
She is adopted and has a white family that are Trump supporters. She gets used by them to say they couldn’t possibly be racist, like that guy who has a black friend. Meanwhile, they call an apartment complex that has a lot of minorities living in it “the zoo.” They also claim to be colorblind, which really made them dismissive to the issues my partner faced growing up in a predominately white town as well as more recent problems like the wave of anti Asian sentiment during around covid. Any disagreement with the family is an attack on them, so there’s no hope there.
Her name is also very white sounding. People can get surprised if they’ve spoken to her via phone or online and then get introduced to her in real life.
Racism can be subtle. Thankfully my partner’s found good, supportive spaces as well.
Adoption in general is a complicated issue. My family adopted a boy from South America after I had left the nest. That always gave me “white man’s burden” vibes.
Sounds like several family members of mine.
“I work with nothing but N-words, if I was racist how would I still have a job?!” Then proceed to act hyper offended when you tell them if they werent racist they wouldnt be casually dropping the N-Word.
I was taking a walk last week and a car of white guys screamed “N*gger” at me, so that was fun. And have been to Japan, which was racism on steroids (for black people anyway).
If it makes you feel better, Japanese hate any and all outsiders, especially if you get away from the touristy areas.
Pretty broad stereotype there
Maybe, but a well known one that’s been discussed and written about many times over the years.
I suppose, but a lot of the online discussion around it tends to come from people who taught English or something in Japan for a year and barely speak Japanese. How accepted could you possibly feel in a society under those circumstances?
I think you get a much different story from people who’ve been making a life and career in Japan. Obviously there are still problems but it doesn’t get to the level of “everyone in the country is xenophobic”.
This is a discussion about how they treat outsiders not how they treat people that spent years becoming part of their society. Also guess which country has one of the toughest immigration policies on earth?
guess which country has one of the toughest immigration policies on earth?
Lots of them? Like the US, or Canada perhaps? Japan is ridiculously easy to move to if you have a college degree. As long as you can maintain some sort of job they’ll just keep approving your visa. And if you get married to a local it’s way easier than say a US citizen trying to get a green card for your spouse from the states.
And by outsiders you meant tourists outside of tourist areas? I guess there would be people who’d be uncomfortable about interacting with foreigners they can’t communicate with, but if I try to imagine a similar scenario in the states it seems just as likely to have the same outcome. Someone in a hick town walking into a diner and speaking broken English isn’t much more likely to be welcomed with open arms, so I guess we should say Americans hate any and all outsiders?
Even when I was traveling when my Japanese was shit I didn’t experience any of what you’re talking about. There’s still definitely issues with black racism, but again, that’s pretty true in the US as well, no?
I seem to have touched a nerve. I’ll let you sit in your echo chamber and believe what you want. Good day.
I am white looking, but my parents are Jewish and Japanese. Basically every time I tell someone I’m Jewish (culturally, I am an atheist nowadays) it completely changes how people interact with me. The best I can hope for is being the “token Jewish friend” most of the time, but I’ve been treated to racial slurs and even physical violence. In middle school, the rich son of the local pastor called me a kike and I broke his nose for it. I was suspended from school and he was treated like a victim. Looking back on it, that might have been the beginning of my radicalization.
Oh here’s another fun one, I had a friend in high school whose mother was Taiwanese, and I wasn’t allowed to go into their house because I was Japanese. Like, I know the history, lady, but I’m 15 and both my parents were born in California. Luckily my buddy also agreed his mom was a racist.
Swastikas painted on our house when I was a kid.
Kids yell in the public park tell me that I have to go back. When pushing my son in a stroller.
Getting told that I will have to pay for stuff when I pick it up at the store at Dollywood, like I don’t know how a merchant economy works.
Had to fight a lot in the feral public school system growing up. All the ching chong jokes.
Being referred to as “chowie” by a prominent basketball scout while in high school.
Being asked if I eat dogs by my boss. In 2023.
Being asked if my mom was an Asian whore by another boss. In 2018.
Being told that I’m not Asian and that some white girl looks more Asian than me and how can I even claim to be Asian when I don’t have squinty eyes?
Jokes about my ancestry when they can’t place me.
Being pulled into secondary every time I travel through Paris CDG because I always get flagged. And one Securitas security officer telling me that Americans will never accept me as American when I finished.
Dating scene as a teen, everything going well, then meeting the parents, then being told I wasn’t allowed to date their white daughter anymore. Like clockwork. Which is fine, they can’t handle the spice in my food anyway.
ALL of the ching chong jokes, lots of dog-eating comments, being told I wasn’t welcome in white gf’s family, etc. I feel that.
I’ll start by saying my skin is really pale. Like, ginger “burn after 5 minutes in the sun”-white. Thus I don’t personally experience racism often (although of course I do notice it around me a lot, because fuck are there many racists), nor do I think it’s even comparable to how bad it is for other people. But this one time caught me so off guard, because this woman actually thought she was giving me a compliment and she had no idea how fucked up it sounded.
One of my parents is white, the other is mixed. That side of the family has roots in Suriname. When I told one of my colleagues about it, she told me “wow, then you really got lucky with your skin color!” Like wtf? And here I am, always jealous of my sibling, who can actually walk in the sun without burning up like a vampire.
I often wondered if I was making too big a deal out of it, because it pissed me off. I called her a racist and never talked to her again. Luckily I don’t work with her anymore.
I don’t think you made too big a deal. She basically said she thinks some skin colors are superior to others. Which is pretty damn racist.
she thinks some skin colors are superior
Maybe she thinks some skin colors are treated worse than others.
My thoughts exactly. Though maybe I could have handled it in a way that didn’t involve me calling her a racist in a crowd of people. But I’m glad at least I didn’t stay quiet about it.
Not directed at myself.
But at the first family gathering at our own house my friend had told some tales of his work at some immigrant center and my father in law started on some racist diatribe about “those people”. Before he could get too far I loudly threatened to throw him out of my house if he continued with that shit. Felt good.
I’m half hispanic/white. I grew up with my Mexican family and spent most summers in Mexico visiting family. I’m fluent in spanish and mostly identify culturally with my Mexican side. But my dad was a very white guy from northeast Texas, so I look very white.
While in college, I found myself serving and eventually bartending at a popular Colombian restaurant/club. I got called a lot of nasty things by Latino folks who assumed I was appropriating their culture or thought I was mocking them. I’ve also had Latino folks talk shit about me in spanish in front of me - assuming I didn’t understand.
I often find myself playing it down or pretending I don’t know spanish so as not to upset people. It has to be a conscious decision because it’s very different from how I talk with my family.
Wish I had some cool, “I showed them” story, but I was always frustrated and hurt in those situations. It’s like all of my upbringing, experiences, and familial relationships didn’t matter because I don’t look like them.
**I’d just like to add that for as many rude Latino people I’ve met, I’ve met 4x as many wonderful Latino people.
I’m a white guy, but can speak pretty decent Spanish. Oftentimes back when I was working retail, if someone was struggling with English, I wouldn’t even bother pulling out the Spanish because like you said, it often would have the opposite effect and make them upset. Basically my rule was I only used it if the customer could speak no English at all, and was looking for an interpreter, and there wasn’t any Latino coworkers around to help them. It sucks because I learned the language wanting to be able to use it. I did one time catch an unassuming abuela tell her daughter that I was hot. I couldn’t resist n said gracias… If you could see her face man.
I’m in Florida and it’s amazing to me that people here still seem to think Spanish is a secret code, and will insult people thinking they won’t understand. Never assume. Absolutely ANYONE here can be Spanish of some variety - I have seen genteel white grandmas conversing in Spanish then perfect English too, white looking frat boys, black people, it’s more difficult to “look Hispanic” here. Out west is different I think. I literally had no idea there was racism about Hispanic people until I visited California as a teenager because they were the “white people” in my city - the mayor, the rich people, plenty of them Cuban or other Hispanic.
Been called a ch*nk multiple times by random people in public, been told as a child that I should be performing better in school because of the “type of person” that I am, been called a dog-eater by peers, asked “what’s your real name” (even though my government name is an English one), etc.
One time someone called me a ch*nk, I explained that despite them being shitty for thinking that’s okay, that I’m not even Chinese, so they must be extra braindead. I also said that it must be disappointing to know less of the English language than a non-white person, and that if a white person like them can’t learn proper English, then they’re failing their own expectations of what it means to be American. I suppose hearing me say that in perfect American English was enough for them to realize how dumb they were being. Everyone in the room glared at them and they shut the fuck up and left lmao.
My wife is Asian and we live in the UK. Quite often when we meet people who instead of simply asking “what sort of job do you do” they ask things like “Do you work in the NHS”, “Are you a nurse”, “Do you work in a care home”.
Some random person outside a shop asked me how much my Asian bride costs.
My wife and son were getting off a bus and somebody asked her how much would she sell her son for.
Probably a bunch more but that’s all that comes to mind atm.
As a stupid fucking young person I tried to convince my black friend that it was ok for me (a white) to use a racial slur (you know the one) using some kind of fucked up Louis CK logic, completely disregarding the fact that a) it’s obviously not ok, and b) I really hurt his feelings.
I haven’t experienced any noticeable racism other than someone using a slur on me because they thought (incorrectly) that I was mixed race.
I might have been treated differently because of my race (caucasian), I didn’t realize it. I just assumed that the person is an asshole to everyone. I’ve never been called any sort of slur.
