• Clinicallydepressedpoochie@lemmy.worldOP
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      2 months ago

      1.) I could give two shits about what the internet thinks on any given subject.

      2.) I am not movitivated to use the internet for fun things like gaming, anymore.

      3.) I want to crawl into a hole and fall asleep forever listening only to the humming of a sweet old lady.

      4.) I look into my own eyes and see nothing.

      5.) … I dunno… I check the fridge for cheese more often then I check my own text messages.

      6.) I took up smoking again and I don’t even feel bad about the possible slow torturous death of lung cancer that awaits me.

      7.) If I hear a child I am instantly annoyed(please don’t hate me I don’t have any kids of my own)

      8.)I cannot write any

      • BassTurd@lemmy.world
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        2 months ago

        A rollercoaster. It was dropping until the cheese thing, which I think is just normal, unspoken behavior. Sounds to me like a bout of depression, or at least what I think is depression. I 100% get the same lethargy to life, and it tends to come in waves.

        If you haven’t, I’d look at having a chat with a professional. I’m not a good role model for this, but I have pushed through the lulls more times than I care to admit, and it gets tougher every year. The negative thoughts set in and create this negative feedback loop that makes functioning difficult, and digs a hole that’s hard to climb out of.

        Anecdotally, if this is new to you, it doesn’t make for a happy life. I’m working to get help, but there are roadblocks. I would encourage you to try the same. If it doesn’t help, then you can cross that bridge later. If it does, then you’ll be in a much better place and the light will shine again.

        …or the Internet really is just shitty.

      • somnuz@lemm.ee
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        2 months ago

        I don’t want to fuck up your depression status or anything like that, but being this honest with yourself sounds sort of cool… in a way… you know?

        It sounds like a beginning of something or… a wave.

      • grrgyle@slrpnk.net
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        2 months ago

        You’ve got a real way with words. I really like number 3.

        So what do you do for fun if not internet or gaming?? Read books? Lol (jk I like books, but they’re a more subtle fun)

      • gencha@lemm.ee
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        2 months ago

        The Internet is not supposed to be a source of happiness, that’s a sell by some platforms you should never buy into. The Internet is a source of information, and information will not make you happy.

        Gaming, social media, or most other online interaction, is ultimately masturbation. It feels good for the moment, but it doesn’t last; you have nothing to look back on but Steam achievements or vacant profiles on a dead platform at the end.

        If you’re suffering from depression, you likely can’t work yourself out of it through your own actions alone. Seek support. Things will not improve otherwise.