My go to is the “See yourself as the price.”-approach. When you jokingly set her up that she is hitting on you. For example:
Her: So, you want anything to drink?
Me: Oh I see, already trying to get me drunk, eh?
Disassociate and make funny small talk while i internally have an anxiety attack.
Pro move.
Classic cousin of the “realize a week later they were hitting on you and you blew it monumentally”
A week? What is this, professional hour?! Try a few years.
Bitches love cheese.
Real talk though, a wine and cheese date is amazing especially if you get wild with moldy cheeses and you both end up laughing at each others “weird cheese faces”
Make them laugh, easy day.
Become a ball of anxiety, never talk to them, remain alone.
“Hi, I’m an ultra boring nerd girl. I’m on several Fediverse platforms. …No, I don’t know Nicole. Please don’t follow me. No seriously please don’t.”
I’m not very good at socialising, sorry
You hear about Pluto? That’s messed up.
I hear that nose flick
My technique is to not be interested in the person. Not like ignoring them or being mean or anything. But… when I like someone, I get all shy and awkward around them and I tend to screw up any attempt at socializing.
If I’m not romantically interested in them, I can be myself, which I’ve been told is naturally very funny and flirtatious.
Every person I’ve ever dated was a friend long before I started a relationship with them, because I took the time to know them and eventually developed mutual feelings for them. By the time I was asked out, I already had deep respect for them and felt comfortable being myself around them, so dating was just the next step in our relationship.
And yes, I’ve always been the one asked out. I asked out a girl once, and instead of just saying no, she made a public spectacle about how creepy I was and how she would never date me. I was extremely shy back then and my failed attempts to approach her apparently came off as me creeping on her, so by the time I actually worked up the courage to talk to her, she gave me a traumatizingly public “hell no.” I never asked anyone else out again after that. I’ve dated close to a dozen people in my life and every single one of them asked me out.
Being near them for 4 years as a casual acquaintance and hoping they eventually initiate something.
And how’s that going for ya?
This would be a huge turnoff for me, letting me know I’m dealing with an immature conceited person. Maybe forget “techniques” and be real. If they like you they do, if not who cares? Someone else will.
Maybe forget “techniques” and be real.
For many people, being playful, like on OP’s example, is being real. I’m a playful person. I have generally been a class clown my entire life, and I’d even say it’s a pretty core part of my personality and my identity.
I’ve been married over 10 years, with kids, and I still do this kind of stuff with my wife. I enjoy being silly with my kids, too.
And when I was dating I’d rely pretty heavily on humor for flirting throughout all stages, from meeting a stranger to setting up a first date to being on a date, to going on multiple dates. The other person’s laughter was an indicator of whether we were making a connection. And then, later on, I learned that I could expect my partner to be funny too, and actively make me laugh.
Being fun and flirty is a legitimate strategy for making sure you have the opportunity to connect with people. It is, in itself, attractive to some. And it might be unattractive to others, but it’s better to be attractive to some and unattractive to others than it is to be forgettable and unnoticed.
If they like you they do, if not who cares?
I think this is a pretty naive way of looking at relationships. Connections require some level of effort, especially in adult life. As much as we’d all love to just naturally have friendships, romantic partners, and other relationships just fall into our laps, that’s not really how that works. Most connections require a bit of work to find others, to find commonalities, to develop interest, to have some give and take of making a deeper connection, to have some vulnerability and growth and change as that stranger becomes an acquaintance and develops into someone close.
For younger people, especially under 30, looking for a partner isn’t just about looking for someone they like now. It’s also someone they want to grow with and experience things together with.
This is true good advice. Being your actual self, while not always producing results will give you an actual connection when it’s real.
The thing is flirting is expected. It’s part of the communication. If you are not obvious enough things will not move on
I’m starting to get in to the dating game but my strat currently is try to become friends with them first, then SO after. If it doesn’t end well maybe you’ll have a good friend
In my experience flirting effectively has been about being open to possibility without becoming attached to any particular outcome. Someone sent me this video as a joke years ago and I’ve come back to it dozens of time because there’s a lot of truth hiding behind the silliness. We view flirting as thing you do, but I prefer to see flirtatiousness as a mindset I sometimes embody. https://youtu.be/B4g-IlGtpZg
What a cool video, thank you!
Completely ignoring and never talking to them.
The closest I’ve ever gotten to intentionally flirting and it succeeding was playing “Questions Only.” with someone who didn’t know I was playing this. My friend, who dared me to play, had to tell the target my name since I couldn’t say my name since I had to respond to everything with a question.
So, um, learn to listen?
“Didn’t I already tell you my name is HobbitFoot?”
Her: So, you want anything to drink?
Wait are you hitting on them at their place of work, as a customer? Don’t fucking do that.
as a customer?
No, no, as her supervisor.
Ok, that’s funny. I’d go on a date with you.
So, tell me, have you ever seen a grown man naked?
Do you like gladiator films?
Prize, not price. And thinking unrealistically high of yourself will only attract low self-esteem girls. If that’s your thing, great for you.
The best strategy in my experience is being yourself, not artificially bending towards what you think will look attractive. Self confidence is more attractive than narcissism, at least for my type of girl.
is being yourself, not artificially bending towards what you think will look attractive.
If I’m understanding you correctly. Those things aren’t necessarily exclusive to each other in my opinion. I am constantly thinking of something funny to say because I like saying funny or flirtatious things. And you can learn these things, yet still hold true to oneself.
Yes, there is overlapping. You make an effort to say funny and witty things, partly because you think it will make you look smart, hence attractive, and partly because you enjoy making her laugh. Which part is the biggest influences how confident you seem.
