Person with huge pockets builds a house that gets blown up because the door was left open.

You’re finally awake in death row and then spend the whole adventure, shouting to others, trying to avoid knee injury

Getting insulted by a sassy robot while you solve puzzles and try not to die.

You throw cubes in transdimensional holes to win a cake.

try to cure your burnout by waking up and starting work at 6am and passing out at 2am every single day for the rest of your life

Wolfman dies, kills some monkeys, does some rope stuff, performs eye surgery and kills himself (depending on what ending you go for).

you land on an alien planet, burn down trees, pollute the air, exterminate the native wildlife, drain the land of all natural resources, pave it all over with concrete, put some fish on a rocket, do not elaborate, leave

Ooh, look at this beautiful vast open world! Let’s go explo-YOU DIED

YOU DIED

YOU DIED

YOU DIED

italian plumber crushing turts

Guys, I have the best idea - guys! I hav- Guys! Best Idea! - I have the best idea ever! Guys! Listen! We’ll put 64 huge rockets on a tiny pod and then forget to add parachutes. Brilliant.

You’re looking for a gun. A gun that makes holes. Not bullet holes.

Your caretaker offers you cake so you kill her. Twice.

Incompetent engineer arrives to work late, botches an experiment, and ends up ripping a hole in the universe to a world full of “creatures”. He then mercilessly murders the scared creatures while sabotaging efforts by security forces, and an elderly man in a suit, to resolve the situation.

speedy thing goes in, speedy thing comes out

It would have been easier to just fix the crashed ship than to build a whole factory to make a new one