So normally people like me get extremely happy if you say something like ‘nice shirt’, however it got me wondering about people who receive compliments and gifts all the time, what makes y’all happy? I presume it gets kinda annoying after some time?
I was never popular at school or uni. Kids called me fat, gay, a loser, a bitch, a fat-gay-bitch loser, etc., but now I’m probably the most popular and best-liked guy at my job, I don’t mean to brag but that’s just how it is. The thing that makes me happiest is being self-employed and not having to deal with those assholes ever again.
lol. Well done.
I was never “popular” in school, but I got on pretty well with pretty much everyone. The “popular” kids were actually a pretty small, insular crowd that didn’t actually like almost anyone. I kinda figured that’s what it was like everywhere.
In my experience they are just a bunch of good looking, insecure but confident, rich pieces of shit
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Tbh I am kinda on the fence on this particular subject, like some sort of a compliment when I am a bit down would be nice, but the feeling of being complimented once every two/three years is so absolutely ethereal to me that I don’t wanna let it go, it’s a different kind of happiness which I don’t think I would get if I started getting compliments more regularly
But you know that is just my opinion
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Listen to this guy. I’ve lived the shift he’s prompting you take.
It’s incredibly hard to describe. People start to see it on you I think.
From my experience it seems to be in the way I look at people differently and how my body language has shifted. I’m face-blind so it’s hard for me to say for sure but I think people can see that I’m looking for positivity and a way to compliment them or brighten their day.
And if you’re trying to get laid… Holy shit. Give a genuine thank you and compliment someone of the same sex on your dates. Show your romance for the world and not just the person across the table. It really really works.
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Lmao exactly.
I work at a lumber mill and made the GM cry in the break room one day. All I said was ‘I see you man’ after talking about the stress he takes on.
He’s a very different person with me now.
‘Compassionate Masculinity’ is how I described one of my managers at the Apple Store. He taught me a lot through his example.
I understand this concern. It has been a strange shift but honestly it’s wonderful. That ethereal feeling doesn’t necessarily go away but it does change a bit.
As you get better at giving compliments and lifting people up you will draw similar people to you and teach people around you to speak to you in a similar way. There’s a feedback loop that raises that ethereal feeling to something more familiar but no less effecting.
People always remember how you made them feel (both good and bad). Never underestimate that.
When you make them feel something for once
I don’t think I’ve ever thought about who’s “popular” at work.
I remember that being a thing in like high school, but it just doesn’t map to my experience as an adult working a full time job.
As to what makes me happy: The usual things. I get paid. I get recognition for work well done. People listen to me when I say “Don’t do that. That’s a terrible idea. I will explain why in as much detail as you need.”
I think the concept of ‘popular’ at work is a bit silly but for the sake of your question, I am and have been very well-liked at most of my jobs. People give me compliments and show their appreciation often and I usually do float on that high for a minute, but I also don’t really absorb it. I have real bad imposter syndrome and low self esteem. Those ‘popular’ people aren’t usually as high on themselves as you might think.
As for what actually makes me happy, idk maybe my cats and seeing people I care about succeed.
I’m glad you get happy when you get compliments, you deserve to feel happy. I can’t imagine ever being annoyed by compliments.
I genuinely enjoy human contact. It’s why I like working in-office rather than remote. Because I naturally enjoy being around others, I want them to be happy too.
My compliments are genuine. If you look close enough, there’s usually something you can find about a person that you can give a genuine compliment to. That fosters good will between people. The better they feel around me, the better I feel.
Compliments don’t get annoying. I love getting them, especially when I know they’re genuine. It’s why I always make sure my own compliments are genuine.
The only time it gets uncomfortable is when compliments go over the top.
I like making jokes with people. Anything to make people laugh. If you have to be there, you might as well have some fun doing it. And, it is great for group cohesion. Not everyone has to be funny either, just be open to laughing with others.
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I ran a large organization that sold test answers. By my senior year I had a full casino going.
I’m naturally charismatic. I’m lucky, don’t know how or why it just comes natural. But I hate getting complements. It makes me uncomfortable, I don’t need or want them. What drives me is my own desire to be better and get better. I don’t need external influence, my internal pressure is already many times greater than what most get exposed to. At least that’s my interpretation.
Social media validation isn’t real validation.
