Why doesn’t this exist?
Take dried beans, roast 'em, grind 'em, and brew some bean juice?
I have no idea if it would taste good or not, but we don’t know if we don’t try.
Edit: I need to see what dried beans I have and maybe go shopping. I will give this a try with a couple different types of beans and report back if I fart or not.
A lot of things in botany have similar names, but are totally different things. A “strawberry” is a berry only by names (it’s closest relative is the hazelnut, IIRC), a “peanut” is no nut, either.
So it should not surprize when one learns that the Cofea plant is a Rubiaceae family plant, not a Fabaceae/Leguminosae family plant, i.e. what we commonly call “beans” like green beans, peas, or, amazingly, peanuts. It is just called a “coffee bean” because it reminded someone back in time of a bean, shapewise.
The question still stands… Where is my hot green bean juice?!
Everywhere if you’re determined.
Have you tried making it yourself? Try roasting and grinding some dried peas or lentils, and report back how you liked that “bean-coffee”. Nobody is going to stop you. Do it FOR SCIENCE!
Sitting on a shelf at the grocery store. Get yourself some dried beans, run them through a coffee grinder, and make your disgusting concoction using your preferred brewing method.
Close relatives to strawberries are other similar plants like Sibbaldia. More distantly related are roses and lots of other fruits like raspberries, apples, peaches and so on. Hazelnuts are even more distantly related (not super far, but also not super close). You’re probably thinking of hazelnuts because the small seeds on strawberries are technically nuts.
I stand corrected. Somewhere in the back of my mind I had the idea stored that it is closer to the hazelnut than e.g. apples and peaches. I’ll go and refresh my knowledge at the earliest opportunity.
Nonetheless, it’s not a berry.
Not nuts but very close, they’re called “achenes” (ə-ˈkēn). The only Important difference is that nuts have a thick, protective shell but we’re being specific here.
So if it’s not a bean, what is it? It’s not the fruit, so is it the seed?
It actually is the seed of the coffee plant.
IIRC its more like a pit than a seed, but yeah