Went to the hospital. It turns out 120 is supposed to be the lower blood pressure number.

Two of my immediate family members died.

When my SO bought me a present for my fortieth birthday that was something I would never use and clearly was for him (a rare bottle of bourbon), but he pretended it was a shared interest of ours. I don’t hate bourbon or anything but I very seldom drink any, maybe once a year, and I have yet to drink any from that bottle. It was wildly selfish.

Then when I turned 49 I got up that morning, and he asked me snarkily if I would be pretending if I was 39 for the rest of my life as some sort of hilarious joke about vanity. I am not vain at all and I don’t care how old I am, I loved my forties and have enjoyed my fifties so far.

On my birthday this year my friend died, a few year ago same date my dog died and a few years before that my grandfather died again same date.

I dont like my Birthday and try to be greatful for the people in my life each day and each year.

Last year kind of killed the idea of being happy about my birthday for me. I always used to hope something fun or kind would happen and it never does. Got a text from my best bud in the morning and the rest of the day was just a day. None of my family remembered or if they did, they made a conscious effort to not say anything. Not sure which is worse? I don’t talk to any of them anymore. I’ve pretty much orphaned myself in the last two years or so and I’ve been pretty happy about that to be honest.

This year I just went out and got myself some stuff, hung out with my kid, and played some board games with my wife. It was much better to just not expect anything from anyone.

I invited 20 people for my 40th birthday.
3 showed up.
My wife ate too much dough while she baked weed brownies and fell asleep right before the guests arrived.

So me and my best friends sat around the table and ate a bag of chips, I was the only one to drink alcohol, no one touched the huge amount of food I made, and from upstairs we could hear my wife snoring.

I was circumcised

So there I was, sitting on an ammo can, in Iraq. I actually didn’t know it was that day until we had to write down a record of rounds expended.

Party was cancelled because my grandpa died

My ex finally admitted she’d been carrying on a relationship on the side, in case it didn’t work out with me (her reasoning). She admitted it’d been much more than she claimed, she’d even met his parents, etc. After confessing, she started self-harming (hitting herself in face repeatedly for awhile) in front of me. I called 911, very quickly realizing I might be in that scene from Fear/It’s Always Sunny and that this could go very, very badly for me.

Police showed up (~4:00 AM), shining flashlights into windows, waking up my Mormon landlords upstairs.

Thankfully, she sent the police away without incident/my involvement, then left shortly thereafter. She texted around 10 AM that she’d bought me a massage as a birthday gift, which was timely and welcome. She never showed her face again until I ran into her at a birthday party maybe 6-9 months later. Next I heard, she had shaved her head and moved to Indonesia.

Those are the main highlights, anyway.

I met a guy online, and we arranged to meet up for our 1st date. It went well, and during it we exchanged birthdates. Mine was the next week, so he said he’s take me out for my birthday!

The day arrives, we meet up at the same place, and after my inquiry he says we’re to a New Mexican restaurant for dinner, then to a Country & Western bar a few blocks away for some dancing. Well All RIGHT! (I did tell him I didn’t know how/hadn’t been before, but was willing to give it a go.)

At the end of dinner he asks the waiter for separate checks. I look puzzled, and he asks why. “Well, it’s a little unusual to be taken out for your birthday and have to split the check…”

“Oh, I forgot it’s your birthday. I don’t have enough money to cover this.” So I end up paying for my meal.

Tip: If this happens to you end that date immediately! I don’t, so we continue the date and go dancing.

Turns out he doesn’t like line dancing, and doesn’t lead, so he won’t line dance with me trying to learn to line dance. We have one regular dance together, which he ends mid-song, because I’m not leading right.

For the rest of the ‘date’ I get to sit there, buying my own drinks, watching him dance with others, and having drinks bought for him by those others.

I went home alone after a few miserable hours…

My mother told me that I was ruining my birthday because I didn’t want to blow out candles or have singing.

I was born.

Assaulted and held hostage for a week in my own apartment, causing me serious injuries and eventual homelessness.

On my 18th birthday I was homeless and living in a truck.

But it was okay cuz I was out of a terribly abusive situation and my mental health was improving.

And I went to my friend’s house only to find out that they had all been arrested for robbing a McDonald’s.

Truth is, I had known about the robbery after the fact, they had told me about it two days before my birthday.

I had cautioned my friends that they should not go out and spend the money they had stolen right away, if their activities change and it made them look suspicious, it increased their chances of getting caught.

This was a small time deal, they each got like $600.

They went out the very next day and blew it all.

They were arrested that night after the detective that McDonald’s had hired to follow them kept track of all of their purchases and showed up at their door with the police in tow.

It’s so pathetic it still makes me cringe.

So anyway I spent my birthday alone in my truck. It made me sad because you know that was the day I officially became an adult and all these years later I’m kind of still alone so I guess maybe it set a bad precedent that I could not overcome.