I’ve had hemorrhoids for like 25 years, so I’ve always been very discerning about my toilet paper.

this entire time, I’ve been using whatever toilet paper I have found to be the softest as facial tissue, to blow my nose, as well. my reasoning being, if this stuff is gentle enough for my hemorrhoids, of course it’s going to be gentle enough for repeated use on my upper lip.

then, a friend turns me on to one of those new “with lotion” facial tissues (my bathroom tissue always has aloe in it) and wouldn’t you know it, my upper lip finds it to be softer than the toilet paper. but, when I try using it as toilet paper, my anus doesn’t find it to be less irritating than the toilet paper.

why do my butthole and my upper lip think that different things are softer? is it just chemistry?

  • southsamurai@sh.itjust.works
    134·
    13 days ago

    Dammit, yet another question that I spent too much of my life on.

    It comes down to nerves and tissue (cell, not paper) types.

    The outside of your nose and the tissues of the anus are not the exact same. There’s a different concentration of “nerve endings”, and different types in different concentrations.

    I doubt you want the full Monty of it, but if you look up the term “sensory receptors”, you can do the deep dive very easily.

    The short version is that we have specific types of “nerve endings” (that’s what they’re called colloquially, hence the quote marks, but I’ll stop using those at this point). They detect pressure, temperature, pain/injury, etc.

    The concentrations of them (as in how many per square inch), and the assortment of them (as in how many of each type in that square inch) varies across the entire body. The easiest way to demonstrate the relative principle is to touch your fingertip to your nose, your lips, your genitals (seriously), and your leg.

    You’ll find that your brain interprets the signals in an interesting way. It’ll filter the less intense signals. You touch your finger to your lip, what your brain “says” is that your lips are being touched by something, and the signal from your finger takes the back seat. You touch the same fingertip to your thigh your brain says the finger is the primary sensation, and you feel the thigh via the finger rather than the finger via the thigh the way the lips worked.

    Give it a try on whatever parts of your body you want. There’s going to be a shifting perception of whether it’s your finger touching something ( where emphasis is placed on the signals from the finger), or it’ll be the section of the body being touched by the finger (signal from the touched location being emphasized).

    The anus and the nose have different jobs. The anus, mostly, needs to detect pressure, injury, and some degree of chemical contact the nose needs less pressure sensitivity, but more motion sensitivity. So you’ll get a different overall sensation with any given substance that’s pushed against either, and when the same substance is moved across either. The difference may end up being minor. But both are sensitive enough that most people can tell a difference between paper tissue products blindfolded.

    Back in the day, I wiped asses for pay. The only patients I had that couldn’t tell the difference between brands of TP had medical issues that interfered with nerve signals. Do a test for yourself. Find a buddy to hand you tp or facial tissues and keep a log (heh, he said log while talking about butts). There’s a very good chance that every single one will feel different. You’ll probably be able to tell which brand is which if you’ve used that brand before.

    You can probably even tell the difference with your fingers tbh. But you wouldn’t likely be able to if the same products were placed or rubbed on your back

    You’d also notice that different objects will feel different when just placed on an area and pressed gently into the skin vs when you wipe the area with it.

    Skin is an amazing thing. It’s armor, a sensor array, a biological filter, sunscreen, and a temperature regulator all in one! Plus other functions tbh, but shit like that gets overwhelming to read for a lot of people

    You’d be amazed what you can discover with just an hour sitting around and touching things to parts of your body.

    • MrsDoyle@sh.itjust.works
      29·
      13 days ago

      Oh my god! I’m sitting here touching myself like a fucking madwoman. Thank you so much! Brilliant, brilliant comment. I had no idea, how have I lived without this knowledge? Ok I’m touching myself again, this is hilarious.

    • bitwolf@lemmy.one
      15·
      13 days ago

      You touch your finger to your lip, what your brain “says” is that your lips are being touched by something, and the signal from your finger takes the back seat. You touch the same fingertip to your thigh your brain says the finger is the primary sensation, and you feel the thigh via the finger rather than the finger via the thigh the way the lips worked.

      This was wild to experience. Thank you for the interactive educational lesson.

      If Lemmy had a c/bestof, I’d be cross-posting. Thank you southsamurai!

    • TranquilTurbulence@lemmy.zip
      13·
      13 days ago

      Thanks for taking the time to write this.

      Posts like this prove to me that Lemmy is ready to replace Reddit. Probably not completely true for everyone, and every topic, but we’re getting there.

    • TheKMAP@lemmynsfw.comEnglish
      2·
      12 days ago

      So it’s not sheer quantity of nerves but it’s also the different types? Cool.

      And the nose has a lower standard for “move across” and injury?

      I wanna see your TP tier list. I have a bidet at home, but I also have weird/random allergies that give me diarrhea so if I’m eating random stuff outside, and poop more than twice a day, I have real bad time.

      Thanks for the post. This is the kind of niche shit I love.

      • southsamurai@sh.itjust.works
        1·
        12 days ago

        Yup, there’s multiple sensory nerve endings.

        Iirc, the nose is high in pain/injury receptors, motion, and temperature, but low on pressure. Mind you, that’s relative. It’s still one of the more sensitive spots on the entire body, even regarding pressure.

        My top TP is charmin. A lifetime of IBS has proven the brand’s (regardless of which version) ability to clean up with the least amount of friction, and less of the roll being used, and it is the least irritating to my skin there overall.

        Scott comfort plus is right behind charmin.

        They comes cottonelle, which is pretty similar across their product line. Not a lot of variation in comfort levels there.

        Anything else, I just can’t handle for long. Like, here and there, I can make do, but my parts won’t be happy about it.

        I’m with you, bidet all the way at home.

    • Ellia Plissken@lemm.eeOPEnglish
      22·
      13 days ago

      okay, I will start taking yoga now, and get back to you once I am capable of running this test

    • Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world
      19·
      13 days ago

      …Damn Girl! How flexable ARE you??? Can I rent you for the night???

      Oh, sorry. That came off wrong.

      I was just trying to imply that my penis would have fun with your body, bending you into various positions for my sexual benefit.

      I didn’t mean to imply you would profit or gain anything from the experience.

  • Shortstack@reddthat.com
    22·
    12 days ago

    I know it’s not the answer to your question, but you should really consider getting a bidet installed to not piss off your hemorrhoids.

    Speaking from someone who also has them and who got a bidet during covid. Life changing for my cinnamon ring.

      • angrystego@lemmy.world
        6·
        12 days ago

        There are also cheap specialized squishy water bottles with little shower-like hooked ending that can be used as a bidet if you don’t want to bother with insalling a real one.

        • HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.worldEnglish
          6·
          12 days ago

          it takes 15 minutes, $20 for all the parts, a t splitter, a wrench and teflon tape to install a bum hose if you’re that hard up

      • phx@lemmy.ca
        5·
        12 days ago

        I actually just use the cold even in my own bathroom. A bit of frosty water cools the O-Ring after a meal with a biiiiit too much hot sauce, or when that slight lactose-intolerance flares up.

        But the heated seat on a good quality bidet… that’s amazing

        • HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.worldEnglish
          2·
          12 days ago

          I’ve had too many cold nights in winter where you wake up in the middle of the night, pinch a quick loaf, and then scurry off to bed. Now, with warm water, it’s nice and cozy and next minute you’re like a fuzzy numble all snuggled up in a big cozy cinnamon bun back in bed still asleep. Cold water, well, there’s these nights it’s winter and the dead of night and suddenly your pucker screams ¡Ooo! ¿what temperature is that? well it’s gonna take an hour to get back to sleep now.

          I do not miss those winters

  • Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works
    20·
    13 days ago

    Irregardless!

    Don’t use nose tissues as toilet paper!

    They’re made stronger for sneezes, not designed to “dissolve.”

    They’ll gunk up your pipes !

  • Nougat@fedia.io
    16·
    13 days ago

    I am going to suggest that you get a colonoscopy. My own experience with giant polyps is that they reduce the ability to evacuate fully, and make for an “it’s like a marker, I just keep wiping” condition. Between the extra straining and extra filth, that can definitely be a “recipe” for hemmorhoids.

    Thank you for subscribing to Butthole Facts.

  • AndrewZabar@lemmy.worldEnglish
    151·
    13 days ago

    new “with lotion” facial tissues

    They were new in the 1980s, just FYI. The first ones were called “Puffs Plus With Lotion”

    • FuglyDuck@lemmy.worldEnglish
      15·
      13 days ago

      not to mention, the ‘lotion’ stuff isn’t going in your nose- or even remotely close to the sensitive parts of your nose.

      Plenty of lotions are irritants if you use them in places they’re not meant to go.

  • murmur@lemm.ee
    5·
    12 days ago

    Find a doctor who uses the little elastic bands to gather up the sagging anus skin making it smooth and firm again. It’s a game changer.