Truly a pretty terrible place for any kind of social activity.
People here are super self righteous and unwavering in their beliefs, quick to insult others and be generally bitchy, pedantic and quick to dogpile. Worst of all while still usually slightly wrong about a thing, but unwilling to hear it.
It’s basically the worst parts of reddit users where we have boiled it down to the most affluent or socially insecure.
Even if it’s as simple as a question people jump to defend their position with insults rather than answer it cause they get worried the person might be confused and it’s best to just make sure it’s a closed community as quick as possible.
This isn’t an open community it’s a private gated one where everyone jumped the fence and is scared that the wrong person might have come in with them.
Condescending is not welcoming.
Upvoting cause they are your in group isn’t community.
Berating outcasts cause you at least don’t feel like them is still bullying.
I see your instance is federated with both Hexbear and Lemmygrad. Going to gesture vaguely at that being the root of your problem (or at least > 90% of it).
Blocking instances helps, but you’ll still see users from there in the comments and in other communities (not on the blocked instance). Some UIs will hide users from blocked instances. I know Tesseract does (I wrote it to do that), but others might as well.
My experience here has been pretty great after getting my blocklist and feed curated.
Yeah I am also federated with lemmy.world and blocking that would silence the feed a whole lots more while being just as helpful to my psyche.
The commies are at least consistent and up to date on things. Which is insane since they insist on a economic system from 200 years ago.I think the problem I have is that those outside of grad and hexbear also think their shit doesn’t stink but I literally have seen people openly mocking a user for nothing because he made a comment elsewhere that means they keep going after him to punish him for his opinion on anything. It’s cruel and fucking inhuman. It lacks all empathy and it’s not hexbear that was doing it.
I also don’t want to block people just for existing with other opinions. I couldnt do it in real life. I can choose to not interact.
Blocking feels like a bandaid for having a terrible community where everyone wants to be alone and right.Am a mod of a few smaller communities but I think I speak for a lot of us. We aren’t in every thread, but if you see rule breaking, report it. That’s what we’re there for. I know that sort of behavior is against the rules in my subs.
Yeah I think I’ve realized I’m really only seeing the basic big theads on lemmy.world and the moderation there is kill or be killed and whatever the mods giggle at is allowed. Which means they let dogpiling happen if it seems deserved.
I’m apparently in a rather small instance.
The benefit of the smaller instances IMO, you definitely get more control over your feed. Mods are still helpful, but reports do go to admins of your instance too.
Wait until someone tells this guy how old capitalism is
I know that just fine. So what would knowing that matter or do for me? Or my comment?
Which is insane since they insist on a economic system from 200 years ago.
I think it’s just that your argument against communism seemed to be based on its age, i.e. it “being old and out dated.”
(Agree communism is not great FWIW)
Yeah i thought it was a clever dig against it and also fun turn since I think I have had better conversations about modern day pop culture on hexbear.
I just wasn’t exactly in favor of capitalism anyways just wasn’t the point.
Thanks for being my sanity check on that.
I question what your criteria for a good pop culture discussion is if you enjoy discussions with a bunch of angry neckbeards
They like to watch modern movies and shows that aren’t marvel, usually have good takes on influencera in here and have the right hate for vtubers.
Plus I think they are just closer to my age and social awkward nerds that are easy to call neckbeards. I’m not gonna get pop culture references of Gen X who seem to make a majority in here.
Must be a different Lemmy you’re talking about. My experience has been nothing like that and generally quite positive.
Ok. Thanks for chiming in.
Have a specific community you like to interact with or are you a Linux user?
Twitter made me hate people. FB made me realize just how dumb people are. Reddit made me realize that there are no good guys in positions of power. Bluesky is actually pretty chill. But I prefer this format. A forum style.
One thing I noticed is alot of people on Lemmy think that everything on the internet should be free and have no ads. In a perfect world this would be great but most of the sites people regularly use are expensive to operate and wouldn’t exist. I do use as blocker and pirate stuff sometimes but I also pay for YouTube premium and a couple other services. Plus I go to movie theaters whenever there is a movie I really want to see and support.
+1 for unpopular. I think planet earth is worse platform.
Yeah well you try implementing physics to prevent activity from being contrived!
Yeah I’m starting to think it’s just nature of people to be shitty.
Any subject at all and if someone thinks themselves better than you (and they will) then it’s practically pointless. They just like the high of feeling right more than anything else.
Edit: also near 50/50 split so I guess this was an unpopular opinion
There are two keys to success for an internet community:
- limit the conversation to a circumscribed subject
- have decent moderation
This has not changed since the 90s. It’s the reason that any community devoted to “world news” or “politics”, whether it be here or on the R-site or anywhere else, is destined be a train wreck whereas one on “gardening” or “classic BMWs” or whatever will generally be pleasant.
Fair-minded moderation is what turns a cesspool into a merely unpleasant hangout, or a decent community into a great one.
IMO the gold standard for a successful community is clearly Hacker News, which (logically) combines a well-defined purpose with top-notch moderation. Rather than just deleting comments and handing out bans, the moderator there intervenes in discussions to push them back on course, often in a plaintive manner that appeals to people’s good sides. The positive results of this approach were even the subject of a feature article in the New Yorker.
This is a not a technical problem as much as a human one. Restrict the bounds of conversation, then take a smart approach to moderation. Success will follow.
I find that if you avoid the political and news forums and some of the meme forums, you avoid 90% of the assholery that exists on Lemmy. But that’s true for Reddit as well and I think is probably just a truism about the internet in general.
It’s not really the people, I think, that is the problem; it’s that people feel strongly about politics and when they have the anonymity and disconnection of the internet to free them from true social accountability, we express ourselves in increasingly overconfident and arrogant ways, which obviously pisses other people off and creates arguments. In other words, the internet is ideal for festering toxic debating environments. Our psychology just wasn’t meant for it.
Someone argued with me and called me a lot of rude things cause I called them privileged for them saying everyone should just buy an extra computer that they can use to run linux.
Like when I called them out on it and said it’s a lot for people to just buy multiple devices for the sake of being both on Linux and Windows if people don’t have a purpose for Linux he called me a troll and spoke down to me as if his existence and level of life was what everyone else lives.
It’s not just politics. It’s not even the politics that upsets me it’s the condescending self righteous know it all attitude that’s everywhere in this platform. That their life is objectively the way to be. It’s pompous and that’s absolutely the users.
cause I called them privileged
I mean, if you cast the first stone, don’t be surprised if people pelt you back, dude.
Third message after they told me to “get gud” for not being able to buy another PC and then treating me like a toddler for saying it didn’t make sense to own multiple PCs just to have one we don’t use for Linux and he asked if he “held my little hand long enough”
I ain’t casting many stones first unless you consider the questions and the follows up an invitation to attack.
Get a instance that doesn’t federate with .ml instances or hexbear, block the Lemmy.world political communities and you can enjoy Lemmy mostly without assholes.
Like most people say if you want more pleasant experience, it’d be better to avoid politics.
Dank memes is also tangled with politics and crudeness anymore and outlived their days.
Also you don’t need to feel obligated to respond to rude or unpleasant people, just block em’ and go about your own interest.
Lastly treat others how you would like to be treated. If you just go around trying to counterpoint argue and call everyone terrible then you might suffer some backlash.
It has some crazy, but I’ve found it refreshingly with it in many ways. People here generally understand that getting paid enough money instead of ripped off by a billionaire is good. The stuff you shouldn’t have to filter for.
Yeah the topics aren’t necessarily the problem it’s how it’s not a conversation most of the time it’s just snarky fighting to be the most right or up voted cause they act like they are right.
I would hope it’s not these topics making people shutty or else that doesn’t bode well for them.
You forgot where their feelings about a subject hold more weight that your facts. Its usually over some childish pearlclutching.
There is indeed a LOT of bitchy pedantry on here. I’m not sure it’s worse than other platforms, because this is the only one I’ve been using for a while now. I block very aggressively and that seems to help.
Sorry you’re not having fun on Lemmy, I do get it. For some reason reddit keeps failing upwards and we’re not getting the influx of users I was hoping for. I’m still hanging in here but participating less and less.
Honestly Facebook is even better just cause it’s people putting on the clown makeup to get a ride from you. Apparently they pay pretty well for those stupid community posts if you get enough attention.
It doesn’t feel as self righteous at least is my point. People here deeply assume themselves smarter than anyone else here.
I saw people dogpile a comment cause the first person in a chain misread it and assumed correctly and every comment trying to pull people out of the spiral was downvoted and shouted at for being wrong as they tore each other apart.
It’s like chickens seeing another chicken bleeding. They don’t even think before they tear their kin to shreds.
For whatever it’s worth, I’ve had some very positive interactions on here, too. And I’ve seen questions answered when people needed help. And generally useful info types of posts. The comics and memes are often good (if you like those, those are not everyone’s cup of tea). Anyway, it’s not all jackasses all the time on Lemmy.
It’s not worth nothing. I just wish I figured out how to get it not to be the majority without having to silence the spaces where people are.
I have a different experience. I have not blocked anyone or amt instance. I am om lemmy.world, so that might be it?
blocking the .ml instances helps, a lot. I made the recent mistake (twice!) commenting on Lemmy.ml. over there, anything NOT praising Russia, NK, or China is hated. they’re pretty smooth-brained and not worth arguing with. same with lemmygrad, same with hexbear. I’m fairly new to federation, and that was a big learning curve for me. a lot of the Europe or US based instances are way more open to hearing opinions and conversation, so I’d start there.
I’m not honestly fighting with .ml people. The people the most rude to me are .world.
I think they are just used as easy scapegoats cause they tend to be loud and passionate.
I can be in a memes thread and still have people argue in bad faith and call me a troll for asking a question about Linux. That’s not .ml or hexbear.
I get where you’re coming from. This platform made me realize once and for all that I’m not a leftist, despite thinking of myself as one for most of my adult life. But I’m definitely not a conservative either, so I’m rudderless. A lone wolf.
Anyways, to the original point, there are a lot of toxic people here. They were on Reddit too, but there was a lot more to dilute their presence. Be active with your blocklist, and use an app that allows you to filter words and instances. Those few actions will drastically change your experiences on Lemmy. It changed mine enough that I went from being an inch away from leaving forever, to actually enjoying most of my time here. And heck, I learned something about myself in the process, and continue learning every day. No sense in only being around people you agree with, that’ll just stunt your growth as a person.
