Quitting jobs
Everyone has a job they don’t like and whenever someone complains about the job that they do, there’s always are going to be handfuls of people saying “QUIT UR JOB!” not really caring about whether it’ll benefit the complainer or not.
Quitting a job cold is one of the dumbest things you can do when you do not have any safety nets. No savings. No jobs lined up. Nothing planned. You are putting yourself back to a place of uncertainty and it’s not pleasant when that countdown starts. That countdown is tied to how much you have left to cover your expenses fully until you get another job and how long those expenses will pile up.
Because all it takes is one or two missed paychecks to upset your financial stability and the system you’ve made in how you pay for things.
For some people, unfortunately, quitting jobs is not as simple of an option. People are just jammed into where they are because their job market is poor or it’s highly competitive even when they went to college for that job.
“Don’t take that raise, it’ll put you in a higher tax bracket!”
Some people who don’t understand tax brackets actually believe this is good advice.
I’d say about 20% of people I encounter, including people in my immediate family, still believe this.
My uncle believes this and has made life decisions based on it … but has a financial advisor. So either that advisor sucks or he hasn’t actually discussed finances with them.
For anyone here who doesn’t understand why this is bad advice, it’s because income tax increases only apply to income made above that threshold.
Let’s do a simple example and pretend there’s only 2 tax brackets. From 0-50k tax is 10% and over 50k it’s 20%.
If you make exactly 50k your tax burden will be 5k and you’ll take home 45k a year.
If you get a 1k raise, only the final thousand is taxed at the higher rate, so your tax burden will be 5200 (10% of the first 50k and 20% of the remainder), and you’ll take home 45,800 a year.
So even though you change tax brackets, you still make more money.
USA here: Or people saying “Don’t work overtime, they’ll just take it all in taxes”.
Well, my marginal tax rate on income has never been 100% (yet). While there are other factors to consider if you feel working overtime is worth it or not to you personally. That is not a valid logic to use.
The same people who think they pay federal tax dollars cause they never realize they get it all back and then some.
In the UK there is a point between 100 and 125k where the tax levels of being in that region make it more financially prudent to do pension salary sacrifice or a similar scheme. You should still take the pay rise obviously.
Edit: To illustrate it I think the marginal tax rate jumos to ~60% or something like that between 100-124k. but then moves back down to 47% after you earn over 125k for some reason.
Yeah, there are some regressive taxes and fees that cause that anomalous decline in the marginal rate.
Some people may be thinking of what’s called the “benefits cliff”. At certain points you lose the ability to take certain tax credits or deductions. Theoretically this could result in a higher net out of pocket for you, but in the grand scheme it’s really minor, so always take the raise.
Maybe not poor at its core, but poor phrasing nonetheless: “just be yourself!”
What we should say is: stop trying to force yourself to fit in. You are enough as you are. Embrace your quirks, passions, and individuality without feeling the need to conform to what others expect. It’s not about “just being yourself” in a vacuum; it’s about freeing yourself from the pressure to mold into something you’re not.
The beauty of authenticity is in the courage to show up as you are, without apology.
All one liner advice is a shortening of a much more complex idea and people rarely pass along the complexity. I think you nailed the goal of the saying, that fitting in shouldn’t require losing their individuality.
Sadly some people use the saying to justify being an asshole, because they don’t understand that they can be a decent person and still be themselves.
I think “Just be the best version of yourself” is a better phrasing.
Not sure I like the word “just” though. Not as empowering as it could be.
This is pretty good advice, and something I often need to remind myself of. The word “just” weakens what you’re saying and is usually superfluous. Delete it.
The retort to that is, “be yourself, unless you’re and arsehole, then be someone else”
You can add “annoying” to that as well. In my case I’ve had the uncanny ability to regurgitate the most useless trivia about almost any subject that I’ve read about. It took me longer than I care to admit to realize that no one wants to hear that shit.
You still need to follow your society’s expected behaviors. Like showering or wearing shoes in public venues.
A big problem is people not picking up certain queues and being ostracized then continuing to follow “be yourself.” It’s a downward spiral.
- Learn to fit in
- Learn when and where “rules” can be bent/broken
- Then be yourself
This also depends on the society you are living in. Good luck with “being yourself” in north korea, or even any east asian countries.
You know who take this advice too seriously? Assholes.
“Fitting in is one of the greatest barriers to belonging. Fitting in is about assessing a situation and becoming who you need to be in order to be accepted. Belonging, on the other hand, doesn’t require us to change who we are; it requires us to be who we are.” -Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection
You have one soul mate out there. One true love. One person, so you better compromise to make sure it works. Especially when the alleged “one” is telling you to comply. That way lies abuse.
“God will bring the right person into your life”
I know someone who believes this so strongly that they don’t even really go out or date or anything. They legit believe that somehow their soulmate, chosen by God, will show up at their doorstep while they sit at home every night watching TV? I don’t understand.
I guess maybe if it’s the pizza delivery guy or something…
"I’ve sent Bill, who’s a really great guy btw, back to Home Depot three times to buy a part that he already has two of at home but your dumb ass just sits on the couch every night instead of thinking ‘gee, I should probably repaint my hideous living room.’ But you know what? It’s fine. Bill deserves someone who will actually take some initiative instead of sitting there binging Grey’s Anatomy every night like ‘GoD wIlL bRiNg ThE rIgHt PeRsOn InTo My LiFe’. --God (Probably)
I guess maybe if it’s the pizza delivery guy or something…
I recall having seen documentary films about that phenomenon.
I can’t imagine any relationship working without some degree of compromise. But as to the other part of your comment, I’ve found The One several times in my life. They were right at the time, there was a deep connection, and later, things changed. But it was real and I don’t regret a minute of any of those times.
Getting married, thinking it’ll improve your situation. Nope it’ll just solidify what’s there.
a good marriage drastically improves your life. a bad marriage will obliterate it.
A good marriage can be a good (but not essential) step in a good relationship.
Can confirm. My marriage to my amazing spouse is the most wonderful gift my life has ever had and lifts me up like nothing else. My past relationship with an abusive partner nearly destroyed me.
Sorry for your luck.
“Listen to your body” No, that’s how you get fat. Your body wants to build up fat! That’s how we survived famines. Famines that don’t happen anymore.
Listen to your doctor instead 👍
Listening to your body is meant in the context of over-exercising though. It’s not a blanket get out of exercise card. That’s called “listening to your brain”.
Listening to the body is a rule of thumb. If you feel bad after eating/drinking something it’s probably not good for you. If you cough from something in the air it’s not healthy to inhale.
It’s especially true in high octane workout culture like cross-fit, if it hurts then don’t continue, this is how you end up with a herniated disc.
That being said, if you’re on heroin you shouldn’t listen to the body. Same with cigarettes, junk food, sugary drinks, candy etc. because the body is a dopamine whore.
Don’t listen to food adverts. Broccoli doesn’t have a marketing budget.
That’s what Big Broc wants you to believe.
Listen to your body, assess how its feedback comports with your goals, then use your brain to decide what to do.
famines are increasingly likely.
Listen to your body as in observe your body and how it responds to activity, certain foods, medications and environments. That’s good advice. There are many bad doctors out there.
It makes sense with exercise, fatigue and recreational substances. Not much else though.
It makes sense when it comes to what you ingest also and your environment. Say you have allergies to particular elements, pollen for example.
On Reddit, the answer is always “Break up.”
Break up!
Grab a brush and put a little make up!
“Guys I just hooked up my new set of 5.1 speakers and I’m getting a little buzzing in the subwoofer I can’t track down, what do I do?”
“You should break up, he’s totally cheating on you.”
Follow your dreams
This episode is pure gold!
Bulking up to what, fatass? Super fatass??
Why is this bad? If people said, “Follow your dreams and they’ll always come true,” I’d disagree with that. But it doesn’t hurt to have goals and work towards them.
Compare yourself to the people you see in the movies.
You never see Lara Croft or John Wick get the hiccups. If you do it’s because you’re a jerk and everyone will laugh at you.
creatural realism. thats why i love die hard, hero gets hurt a lot.
Runs 100 yards barefoot through broken glass.
Anything that boils down to “stop thinking”. For example “have faith in the future”, “follow your guts”, “YOLO”.
Being stuck because of worrying and overthinking is not a good place. Calls to action are the only way to improve the situation.
Acting is essential. However, acting is not mutually exclusive with thinking; in fact if someone acts without thinking they’re likely only causing themself and the others harm.
And this sort of advice is rarely about “think then act”, it’s always “don’t think, only act”.
Don’t overthink is the gist. Most decisions aren’t permanent and can be reversed.
For many, any thinking is overthinking; because they believe that acting and thinking are mutually exclusive. And this happens to be the sort of people who typically says stuff like I listed.
And they keep doing dumb shit over and over and over and over. Harming the ones around them - not due to malice, but due to mental laziness.
Most decisions might not be permanent, but you won’t know which ones without thinking.
Valid argument.
It’s also about opportunities. Some can pass if you don’t react quickly enough.
Impulsivity can lead to all kinds of bad outcomes, for sure.
A lot of rules help with that. I have one that says “a bad in hindsight decision is better than no decision”. Ultimately, think about something but when you get stuck just “yolo” it, instead of doing nothing. So far haven’t regretted it. Also, repeated decisions having paths set in stone based on previous experience. I.e. I’m in bed, cozy, but start to feel the need to pee. I always get up to go to the toilet instead of holding it in.
Some of them are good advise, but like any advise take it with a grain of salt and get to the core of the advise and that is what often goes missing.
Yolo is a good thing/example if we are talking about life experiences and just experiencing them. But that doesnt mean you should jump of a bridge without any safety cords or doing coke everything for the kicks haha.
It essientially means that if you can, do something new (safely) so you enjoy life instead of only living it.Same holds for the other examples you gave.
At first sign of calamity immediately stock up on toilet paper.
Obligatory: “YOLO”, it is true we only live once – so make it count.
“Big boys/girls don’t cry”
This is some archaic-level advice similar to “pull up your bootstraps” that most people may have these already ingrained as part of growing up. It is fine to cry and show others [you trust] your feelings, no matter how old you are. More importantly, the better advice is to “take care of your physical, emotional, and mental well-being” and “be kind to yourself”.
Eat less, move more
Not bad advice at all.
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Quitting a job cold is one of the dumbest things you can do when you do not have any safety nets.
I quit work at 35 and now 58. My only regret in life is not quitting earlier. I get mo pensions or welfare or inheritance, I’m just mindful of spending and ever since I was 19 I invested small amounts of surplus income in stocks and shares that ballooned over the decades to large amounts.
Frugality includes all the other virtues.” – Cicero
if it moves, bet on it. if it doesnt, eat it.
You should share everything with your SO. No. Don’t share finances…
Why not? Having two paycheck going into one place seems like it would make things easier, since you’d only have to deal with one set of accounts. And if something happens to your SO, you already have access to the finances and don’t have to worry about getting access while dealing with whatever happened
You’re with the wrong person then
People can change in drastic ways for unpredictable reasons. At any time.
Fully shared finances can screw you over real bad. Have shared accounts but keep a private one too.
Totally disagree, however it does depend on what stage of life you’re on. Straight out of college, sure, married at 50, I would say “no”.
I’ve been married almost 25 years and we’ve been sharing finances since before we were married, but we both started with nothing, and we both had college degrees and equal paying jobs out of college, so there was no real disparity of finances.
