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Christian God doesn’t even come down to earth in the form of an animal to get you pregnant. You just wake up one morning with a bun in the oven. Dude should at least make it fun. Zeus and Posieden knew how to have a good time.
Zeus doesn’t even discriminate based on gender. He saw Ganymede, a cute mortal twink herder, and brought him to mt Olympus to be his femboy cup-bearer. Tried for ages to get him pregnant, but with no such luck.
My favorite story now that Hades 2 the video game is in early access, is that Melenöe, Hades daughter, was conceived by Zeus disguised as Hades hitting up Persephone.
They do skip details like this in the Hades games, also skip incest and inbreeding. They dont skip same gender relationships though, so at least there is some details that are retained
I’ve been holding off getting Hades 2 only because I haven’t beaten Hades 1. Which is probably stupid, because it’s a roguelike and I could be unable to beat it forever because RNGesus hates me. 🤣
You can do it! Did you beat hades once?
Look up OP builds, use the Hera bow, and start with aprodite’s keepsake, and use aprodite’s cast with hera bow. This is the only required part for this build. Other than that Athena dash is always the best dash always always, until you find the game becomes easy. Poseidon attack with this build is suggested, but optional.
In the mirror, focus on getting more death defiance, dashes and life regen. After that more health and the one that gives bonus damage if you have two curses on the enemy (you get one from aprodite’s cast, and one from poseidon attack + razor shoals boon)
Use the same build over and over again and you will beat hades in a few tries.
Learn the moves, when foes telegraph their attack, dash more. The hardest boss is the second to last boss. Won’t explain why, for sake of spoilers of you or someone else hasn’t gotten that far.
You should use gold to buy max health, or healing more often. I bet you focus on buying boons first, you don’t need that with the build above
When you first manage to beat hades, beat him like 9 times total i think to get the end credits. The prolog after the end credits has more story than before the end credits. Mainly give max amount of nectar to everyone to qualify for the big ending in the prolog
RNGeus.
Probably ought to be glad Zeus doesn’t exist either.
Good call. Everything is Zeus’s type.
…I think I’d rather be Zeus’s type than Yahweh’s…
UwU
There is a Christian bedtime story where I’m from. In the end it says something like “and you’ll wake up in the morning if god wants you to”. wtf what if god doesn’t want me to wake up tomorrow.
ded
We got a lullaby with that line here in Germany. “Morgen früh, wenn Gott will, wirst du wieder geweckt.”
That’s exactly the one I meant.
Never heard that one in my life. Maybe a regional thing?
It is, or at least was, one of the most famous German lullabies (Guten Abend, gut’ Nacht). The music is from Brahms, wo made it famous. It started as a regional folk poem tho.
Huh, you are right I’ve heard that quite a lot as a child. Either my family left that out or my memory is faulty. That would not be surprising of course
Stroke
Then you don’t
Basically the Muslim saying “insha’Allah”.
Which isn’t specifically about sleep or anything.
I believe it means God willing.
Mashallah is similar and means something like God willed it (made it happen).
Yea insha’Allah is used when you make plans for example. “I’ll see you at the cafe at 3 if Allah wants it so”
Huh…I spent so much of my life concentrated on the fact that Mary was a lying slut who absolutely had sex with someone. Thus making Jesus not only NOT God’s child, but also by definition a bastard…that I never thought about the story from the perspective of it being true. If you take the story at face value, and God impregnated Mary in her sleep? That makes God a rapist who didn’t get consent.
Yep. Pretty fucked no matter which way you look at it…
Has anyone informed you of Sithrak the Blind Gibberer?
All hail the God Who Hates You Unconditionally 👌
Oglaf is a fucking treasure
“No worse than us, mind.”
I find this religion refreshingly honest and egalitarian. I might convert.
If the only piece of advice on how to live you get from a religion is “Stay alive as long as you can!” That’s still better than a lot of the rest of them.
In school I tried to bring up this theory that the three wise men all thought they were the father and came bearing gifts for that reason and mary was either lying or totally clueless/tricked. It wasn’t well received but nobody was able to refute it with relevant bile quotes or anything.
nobody was able to refute it with relevant bile quotes or anything.
Unclear if typo, or powerful statement.
A little from column A, a little from column B? ;-)
bile is an important part of your body’s functions, don’t compare it to the silly storybook
Actually an angel appeared and told Mary she was chosen. She said “aight bet.” So, technically consent.
Your boss shows up and says, “you’ve been chosen”. Say no and you’re fired…
Jesus was a bastard who was BFFs with a prozzie, did violence against the wealthy, and spurned authority. God might not listen to Slayer, but I reckon Jesus would have
Right? Jesus was a real one. Christianity should be metal AF.
Mary was not virgin until they changed the story later around A.D. 300, during the Romain Catholic Church.
Oh. Damn. I only heard the story AFTER 300AD. I was late to the game, I guess.
Jesus is still a bastard too.
Yeah I never heard of God getting married.
That makes God a rapist who didn’t get consent.
If we take the story at face value, he did get consent.
And Mary said, “Behold, I am the servant of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word.”
- Luke 1:38
Man…dirty talk sure was different back then.
Behold! My loins are awaiting thyself!
No way, Religion is all a sham? MIND=BLOWN
If God is good, they’ll have a thing for goth girls.
And if God is bad, they’ll have a thing for goth girls
I hope it isn’t the deific version of the thing I have for goth girls. I won’t stand a chance anymore.
How else could we reconcile being made in their* image?
If god is anything like the dominionists, his only thing for goth girls is “convincing them to become trad wives”. (I knew a few of these guys unfortunately, the very few that managed to get laid turned out to be massive abusive assholes)
The Rapture = At literally any moment, your little child self could be snatched violently upward into space/some unknown cosmic destination to the sound of blaring celestial trumpets from the skies, etc. This is 100% real and seems increasingly likely, by the day.
Night-night, sweetie!
Considering Mary seems to be around 12-13 from the literature we have? You’ll age out of it, I guess? Cold comfort…
Wait WHAT?? Bruh what is going on with Christianity?
Is it really so surprising?
Wait for them to learn about islam
Yes
I never heard of this, but I feel no need to doubt it.
The priest looks like Father Ted
Luckily it isn’t father Jack, cause she would be in trouble.
Of course he listens to Slayer. Why else would this photo of God and Tom Araya exist?
I approve of Lemmy being God. My mom has a couple great stories playing cards and smoking joints with them while they had the groupies come in and out lol.
SLAYERRRR!!!
\m/
I honestly think that if a personal, knowable, and forgiving god exists as the god-botherers say they believe in, then he/she would get down with some Slayer and chuckle at the irony of listening to such music.
Why can’t a god have a sense of humor?
For a second or three there, I read that as:
When I was a kid,
a priest told me about MarsReminds me on this old joke:
A man running from the police runs into the Catholic church and hides in confession box.Another person enters the other side and says “Forgive me Father for I have sinned”.
The man not wanting to get caught says, “What have you done my daughter?”
She says, “I have had anal sex with my boyfriend, I know sex is for making children, please forgive me . What is my penance?”
The man not knowing what to say, quickly opens his side of the confession box and sees a choir boy walking by , “Hey Kid what does the Priest give for anal sex?”
He responds, “A can of pop and a bag of chips”
I like this comic but there’s one thing I can’t get past - why can’t this person draw noses???
Ever heard anything called art-styles???
Those noses are perfect, whats wrong with your nose
