Honestly, based genie. Instead of fucking you over by twisting your wish into something negative, he fucks you over by spending time on small details. At least the latter will likely result in something you actually want, whereas the former will probably suck.
After all that I still get brittle bone disease!?!
What? You said you wanted your Bones less dense, do you know how much bone I had to remove to let you fly with hummingbird wings?
Can’t be worse than boneitis.
Ah boneitis, my only regret
Probably an autistic genie. It’s important to get the details right!
These aren’t small details, they are crucial details.
What’s the opposite of a monkey’s paw?
He’s a smart one. Upselling body-shrinking or reduced bone density and increased metabolism.
That’s 3 wishes.
The original terms of the wish requested the ability to fly, not just wings. These are part and parcel to being able to fly with wings. Ergo, only one wish.
Well now, mortal. I understand your point but rules are rules.
He could have claimed so, but he’s not a jackass genie.
Not picking telepathic will is the dumbest shit I’ve ever seen.
given this genie’s thoroughness your brain would have to be 100x as heavy
Look, the 800lb brain man is flying!
Elder brain entered the chat
I wish it didn’t have to be
Different folks, different strokes.
Welcome to 2025. Now that you’ve exited the rock and had a mild warm up, let’s get you up to speed
Fair point.
I would have just taken telepathic will so that it just ends there.
Yeah why would you take wings over telekinetics that’s wild
Aesthetics? 🤷🏻♂️
You don’t need a genie to get prop wings on your back.
I imagine with telekinetics you need to concentrate real hard on not falling.
With wings you can just (heh) wing it much more safely.
Hummingbird wings tho, the ones that’d require the most constant effort… Unless reprogramming your brain to do it instinctively, it’d also demand constant concentration. And if you can do that forhummingbird wings, why not witg telekinesis?
Just wear a glider jumpsuit so you can just ascend up with telekinesis and then glide the rest
Can I get the telekinetic head-exploding powers of Victoria Neuman from The Boys?
Also, can I get a list of events where certain politicians will be speaking in front of large public audiences? Asking for a friend.
Sure, but what if telepathic powers somehow affect your brain chemistry or morphology? Aside, Would flying be like manipulating gravity or lifting yourself up with an “invisible hand”?
The gravity manipulation is much better if they are handing out options.
What’s the Roche limit of the ground you’re standing on?
But the giant invisible hand probably allows for more intuative fine control plus its just more satisfying if you want to smash something.
In order to use telepathy, we’ll need to add a new section to your brain. Would you like to shrink the other sections of your brain to make room, or would you like a bigger brain? Oh, you want a bigger brain? Well, now we need to expand your head. Would you prefer an egghead or do you want the whole thing to grow? It will also come at the cost of requiring more energy.
Can we put a small brain annex in my abdominal cavity to handle the additional workload? It seems like the autonomic functions could safely be relocated there.
Dude ‘‘magic’’ doesn’t require anything.
Is that a deliberate conscience telepathic effort, or automatic unconscious reflex? (eg. Perhaps you don’t want to accidentally hover or float in public.)
ok well moving an object still requires energy, so you’re gonna need the increased metabolism perk. We’ll have to increase blood flow to the brain, oh and it’ll need to be increased in mass a lot…how do you feel about a tall head?
Some how this ended up with erectile dysfunction…
How much energy does telepathy use though?
You mean “telpthic will power”.
You’re the second person to use ‘telepathic will’ in these comments and both times are vague as to what that means.
Telekinesis that I can control at will.
Ok, so ‘telepathic will’ more or less means that you’re projecting your will into someone’s mind. Telekinesis at will is a very different thing, and it implies at will (with the mind without physical touch).
Just my two cents, it confused me - is all.
That’s my kind of genie. I wonder if he’d be cool discussing the pros and cons of some of those choices.
Guys I got it.
I want a Green Lantern ring.
ring flys away looking for a worthy holder
You should ask for the OG green lantern ring, just magic
Wings? Nah, if I can’t fly like Goku I don’t want to fly at all.
dunno. inflating like a pufferfish and becoming a dirigible is cool too. i could go for that.
Thank you for that visual. I never realized the world needed Zeppelin Man.
As long as you don’t become Hindenburg Man
So like, did you know if you jar farts you can still make blue darts with em
The genie grants your wish. You inflate via your own flatus. When you land, you have to release a fart big enough to buoyantly lift an entire human body.
Aww he gets me
Fine. You get superhero-style flight. But just to be a dick, the genie makes it so you can only fly feet first.
Where’s the downside ?
Up
I’m sure you mean grown up DBZ Goku, but I would 100% take a flying nimbus and putter around the skies on my little cloud buddy. Just remember to pack a parachute!
As an engineer of sorts, this is every conversation that I have with clients, but comic lady answers waaaaaaaaaay better than most people lol.
Genie: What kind of bird?
Clients: I saw a very pretty bird once, I think it was in Europe. It had feathers and part of it was black.
Genie:… Right.
Would it be possible to have telekinesis, and use the telekinesis to fly, like Mewtwo?
The problem is telepathy doesn’t exist in this universe. It seems the genie can rearrange matter into whatever form serves your purpose, but he can’t make a wish that allows you to violate the laws of physics.
I would keep it simple and ask for the private keys to a bunch of orphaned/lost Bitcoin wallets from the early days of Bitcoin. Then I can simply claim I mined them back in the day, cash them out, and declare them on my taxes. I get an instant and legal large sum of money. It’s not poofed into existence or stolen from someone who’s going to come after me.
Alternatively, I might just wish to find a very large nugget of gold in the next hole I dig in my backyard. That would serve the same effect. Or wishing to be the sole winner of the next Powerball ticket I buy would also work.
With genies, if you must deal with them, best to keep things simple. Asking for superhero powers is just asking for trouble. Just ask for various forms of legal money.
The laws of physics are a bitch.
To steal an idea I had on something similar once, perhaps on an entirely different site, there’s also where the wings come from in the first place, literally and figuratively.
The equivalent structure to a bird’s wing in humans is the arm and hand. Does this new wing take the place of the forelimb as it does in birds or does the wisher necessarily become a six-limbed creature?
Yeah, you’d have to go for an insect design to have separate appendages and wings (which the genie did try to offer).
This is why we can’t have nice things
Telpthic?
Telpthic.
Like writing with AI
Except after the second question it makes generic assumptions and responds immediately from data it’s hallucinated rather than backed up with facts, despite telling it to do so or having had explicitly shared with it the full context beforehand.
